Bloody Elements~Alucard LS

New Friends&Foes

((Well, guess I'm gonna combine the original Hellsing with some Hellsing Ultimate and when I finish with the original, I continue with the Ultimate. Like Incognito is dead-> Millenium-> kill that Nazi bastard))

So, I just found out that I and my "dear" friend, Alucard have to exterminate a pest, or a stupid vampire, whatever you want to call it, in Cheddar village.

Alucard: It's a beautiful night. The kind of night that makes me want to drink blood. It really is a great evening.
me:Easy now,sucker...*cough* BLOOD sucker *snigger* You don't want to choke...To much...
Alucard: Don't forget, little girl, that I saved you back then.
me: EH? B-But Alucard! I-I thought you weren't going to call me that anymore! I thought I earned the RIGHT when we were at war! You bloody bastard!
Alucard: *Chuckling* Like I said, you will always be a little girl compared to me.
me: *sigh* You are soooo unfair. But I expect nothing less from you.
Alucard: *rufling my hair* You learnt well, little girl.
me: *growling* Do NOT touch my hair! *fixing my hair* Jeez, you will never change, will ya? Ahhh you know what? Don't even think of changing! I will kill you, then resurrect you, then kill you again!
Alucard: You're talking big, little girl. Like you can actually kill me.
me: *realization in 3...2...1...* Oh...Right...Hmpf...*continues walking ahead, cursing him*
Alucard: Shall I buy a Swear Jar? In a week I could buy a castle.
me: ANOTHER ONE?! You greedy bastard! AND IT'S NOT LIKE I LEARNT ON MY OWN! The "environment" made me change my vocabulary! Or better said, improve it.
Alucard: You'll always be a smarty-pants, won't you?
me: *smirking at him* It's rude to ask questions you already know the answers to, ya know? *walking ahead*
Alucard: *chuckling* That's little girl for you

~~~~~~~~

stupid vampire: Girls your age aren't usually virgin nowadays, but I'm still going to rape you. After that, I'll take my time to suck you blood. I'll let you join the other ghouls. I'm going to make you my slave.
me: *growling* That stupid-ass, dirty bastard, sorry-excuse for a "vampire"...Freaking maggot, that son of a biatch...I'll kill that fucker for what he's doing...
girl: *screaming*
Alucard: Tag along to save her, then.
me: THAT'S ENOUGH!
S.v.: Who the hell are you?
Alucard: I'm a professional killer. We dispose of garbage.
me: *mumbling I'm a nobody *cough*:I'm your worst nightmare, you dirty cheap imitation!
S.v.: Professional killer? My worst nightmare? Garbage? You must be joking! Have you lost your mind? *chuckling*
Alucard: No, you're the maggot under the garbage. Look at you!
me: Well, duh! Look at what you're wearing! That outfit isn't even fit for a carnival! Tsk. What the hell do you think you're doing?
Alucard: Wearing a priest outfit, you don't even know the meaning of shame. That's what makes you trash!
S.v: You can die now! Kill them!
me: *sigh* Here we go...

I let the shadows engulf me and I dissapear for the time of shooting. Alucard has a weird masochistic fetish of letting himself become schweitzer cheese...Then, I appear again after the shooting, looking at his blood, unphazed.

S.v: You're still not dead, bitch?
me: *rolling my eyes* Like some shitty-cheap sucker like you can even touch me...Oi, you bloody bastard...How much are you going to feign death? You're annoying? Or do you want me to kill him?
S.v: What the hell are you talking about?
Alucard: *chuckling* *laughing* * Starting to shoot the ghouls in a sophisticated way*
me: *growling* I hate when you do that! *starting to shoot ghouls in a sophisticated way*

Since we were surrounded by them, we sat back to back to shoot them. That's the easiest way of doing things.

S.v: How can you kill them like that? Those bullets...
me+Alucard: Exploding 13mm shells, made out of a melted-down, silver cross from Lancaster Cathedral. They'll kill any freak they hit.
S.v.: Wh-why...Why would a fellow vampire team up with humans?
me: *smirking* Do I look like a human or vampire to you?
S.v: Don't move, professional killer, worst nightmare...She's the only survivor...Don't you want her to live? Come on, it's no big deal. Help me escape, or at least look the other way.
me: I expected nothing else, from a cheap nothing like you...
Alucard: Young lady, are you a virgin?
me: *facepalming* Oh, Alucard...
girl: *blushing*
S.v.: Wh-What? What are you talking about?
me: He's asking if she's a damn virgin, are you deaf? So, are you, girlie?
girl: *stuttering*
S.v.: You swine...
me+Alucard: ANSWER ALREADY!
girl: YES, I AM-