Silent

Chapter One

Chapter One

"How do you feel, Isabelle?" My therapist Rose asked as she had a pen in hand ready to write whatever I was about to say.

"So-so, I'm getting there." I signed. She nodded as she jotted it down.

My dad and I decided it was best that I didn't always have to use my phone to answer for me, only when necessary. So, we started to learn sign language. It took us 4 months to learn everything quickly. We even had to find doctors and therapists that know sign language as well because not most would allow me to use my phone.

"Are you still having the nightmares?" She questioned, staring at my eyes as I stared back blankly. She's observing how I would react to that question.

"Sometimes. It only occurs if I remember something about that day," I replied. She nodded once again as she flipped through some pages.

"What would you remember?" She started to move her position to be more comfortable.

I've known Rose for two years now. I wish I knew her when I arrived here in Texas. She's so laid back and doesn't mind that I take time to reply. I know I'm wasting her time when she's here. She has a family at home but instead she's with me, wanting to know what's causing me to not talk anymore. She wants to cure me, I'm her challenge.

"Kevin. That night. Everything." I answered, listing what I always think about when I'm trying to go to sleep and forget about it. I could never. I sighed and laid down on the couch.

"Why? You never told me what happened that night. Are you ready for me to know?" She asked placing her pen down to listen to me and let me know that she'll only keep whatever is useful.

I shook my head. "I'm not ready. I'm sorry." I responded, sitting up. Her frown deepened as she sighed softly.

"I understand but you do know that if you let it out, it'll come easy for you," she stated. I narrowed my eyes at her.

"Does it really?" I raised an eyebrow.

I let all my feelings out once, it didn't get better. I got much worse. When I heard my voice say those three words. It really destroyed me. It showed me who I really was. I went to a psychiatric ward that year for depression and was kept on suicide watch. I blame her for making me like this. It's her fault that my life went into a spiral.

"It does. I know that you once told the other therapist, back at home, everything. It changed you which resulted into getting sent into treatment but this time is different." Rose explained. I saw her close my giant fat file, placing it on her desk.

"I'm your friend. I'm here to listen to you. I know deep down that you want to get better," she stated as she gave me a worried expression.

"That's why you came to me. At first you didn't like the thought of me but you got close. You started feeling comfortable. Now, I'm still here to help you." she continued.

It's true. She's the only one that really got to know me besides the other therapist back home. Rose had this feature that drew me in and told her almost everything about me. I didn't give her a much difficult time. When she questioned me, I would give straight answers. I think it's because I also want to be normal again but whenever she tries to bring up that night. I build that wall again.

"It's ok, we don't need to talk about it anymore," she softly said.

Good. I don't want to talk about it in general.

~~~~~

I sighed as I leaned my head on my hand that was propped up by my elbow. The soft breeze blew on my face every now and then as I just watched my empty yard. I loved this silence. It was comfortable. It was refreshing.

I looked up at the sky and covered the sun with my hand. The sky was clear and blue. There were a few clouds as I smiled wide. I stared at the clock on the wall on the other side of the room and smiled even more. I pulled away from the window and slipped on my flats.

Walking out of the house and into my yard. I reached the middle, plopping down and laid on the ground. This was my favorite thing to do. It made me feel normal. I looked at the sky again and watched the clouds.

Watching the clouds helped me stop thinking about my past. It helped me clear everything in my mind. It only helped for a good amount of time. That was all I really needed.

Time.

Time away from all my troubles. From all my worries, all my stress, from my family, and most of all from me.

Staring at the clouds, I decided to see if each of them made out a shape. It usually would. Sometimes, they're just blobs but other times, shapes that show what I want to see. Today, they were showing blobs. I don't know why? Maybe it corresponded with how I feel. Maybe it was my imagination not coming to life. Who knows.

I shut my eyes as I put my hands on my stomach. I wanted to hear the air flowing through the grass in a soft whistle manner. The air whistling through the wind calmed me down. I enjoyed it.

"Isabelle?" I heard my dad yell out. I lifted up my hand to indicate where I was.

"Can you come here, please." He told me. I sat up as I went to face where he was. He was standing at the driveway with 4 guys. I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion.

Why was 4 guys here?

That's when something clicked in my brain. It's today? It's Wednesday? My dad asked in advance if I was ok with letting a few guys stay at the house for a while till they can settle on their own. I agreed with it. There were no harm coming from them. If there was, my dad wouldn't have allowed them to stay over.

"Isabelle. This is Leon, Caleb, Mason and Grayson. These are the boys I was telling you about," my dad said pointing at who was who. I waved at them.

"Guys, this is my daughter. You remembered what I told you?" He questioned them. They nodded with a smile. My dad went back to his truck and told us he'll be back for dinner.

I stared at the guys again. I wanted to remember their faces and their names so I won't forget.

"It's. Nice. To. Meet. You." Caleb said slowly so I could understand. I furrowed my eyebrows at him, tilting my head in amusement.

"Dumbass, she's mute. Not deaf," Grayson smacked the back of Caleb's head. He groaned giving a glare at him. I bit my lip to stop from laughing.

"I'm sorry about that. He was dropped in the head a couple times when he was a baby." Grayson joked. I smiled, nodding.

"Well, I'll show you to your rooms." I signed but stopped myself when they gave me confused looks. I sighed and pointed to the house.

"Oh, you're going to show us inside. Alright." Mason smiled and told me to lead the way.

"Damn! She's got a nice body," one of the guys whispered as he sucked his teeth. I blushed at that, wanting to be away from their view now.

"Dude, she can hear you," another said giving them a smack. I turned around to face them.

They stopped what they were doing and looked at me like a deer would when caught in headlights. I raised an eyebrow.

I pointed up and gestured as if I was sleeping. Then I gestured where each place is. I would've written it down but I wanted to know if they could understand a bit of what I was doing.

"Rooms are upstairs, Kitchen and dining room on the left, living room on the right and game room?" Mason said. I nodded with a wide smile and clapped for his accomplishment. He bowed as a joke.

"Okay, nerd. Let's settle in our rooms now." Leon said pushing the guys towards the staircase.

"You're just jealous. She likes me more than you." Mason spoke, giving me a wink. I shook my head with an eye roll.

"Shut up and go to your room." Leon glared.

"Didn't deny it." Mason used a sing-song voice. Another smack sounded in the hallway.

"Prick!" I heard a yell.