letters ➸ niall horan

19.

niall,

i cant do anything right.

i fuck everything up for everyone.

no one ever awknowledges me, no one ever talks to me.

everyone just stomps on me and all i have to do is just laugh.

i cant fucking cry because everyone will just make fun of me and i obviously wouldnt want that.

but, i always cry over the most stupidest things and i hate myself for it.

i hate myself for everything i do.

i hate myself because im the one who always causes the bullshit in everyones lives.

i dont even have that many friends because most of them left because they were tired of me. they were tired of the stupid shit i do.

i trusted them with everything. it was stupid of me, i know. but they asked what was wrong and i got carried away.

then they left because i gave them too much bullshit.

i just. i just hate myself so fucking much for it.

i know that i was only supposed to write you letters about my love for you but i just needed to write this down. i needed to put this somewhere, where no one will read this.

i only hope that one day, you'll actually read all of this.

but niall, youre the only hope i have left. youre the only happiness i have left. i dont have anyone else except for you.

you know what sucks though?

you dont know i exist.

-diana.

☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹ 

i give this maybe three or four more chapters