2007- San Francisco
"Mom, please understand that this is who I am. I'm gay and I can't change it" I begged my mother who had her back stubbornly turned to me
"No, This is not who you are Rachel! This is not my little girl and I demand you change your ways immediately!" I watched the woman stomp out the house after.
I sighed feeling my heart sink in my chest. I sat on the kitchen stool trying to calm my breaking heart.
My mother has always been good to me and I foolishly thought she would accept me as I am. How wrong I've been.
Someone cleared their throat from the door, I turned and found granny standing there looking at me. She had a look of pity in her eyes
She was the sweetest woman I've ever met, she was supportive and encouraging towards my dreams. Nothing like her daughter
"Grandma, I didn't see you there" I quickly wiped my tears off my face before attempting to offer her a smile.
"What's the matter my ThuThu?" I smiled sadly at the nickname she gave me since birth
She came and sat next to me. She took my hand in hers offering me great comfort.
"It's just mom. You know how she is" I shrugged. I felt a bit uncomfortable now talking to her about my sexuality seeing how her daughter reacted.
"You know you can talk to me about everything, right baby?" She said in her usual sweet voice, I just broke down upon hearing it.
She held me as I let my emotions out. I've been hiding who I am for so long and when I finally felt ready to let myself out, I was rejected. It hurt
"I have a girlfriend... whom I love so much. I'm tired of hiding her or the love I have for her" I blurted out while trying to control my emotions
I was scared of her reaction as we sat in silence. I was afraid to look at what her face would tell me.
"It's Sharon, isn't it?" She asked. Her tone didn't give out much emotion, it was normal. I nodded a meek yes
"Darling, anyone with eyes can see how much you love that girl. You were terrible at hiding it. I'm surprised you were able to keep it a secret this long" she laughed softly.
I looked at my grandmother for the first time since I revealed myself to her. The look of love and compassion on her face overwhelmed me. I started crying
"Oh darling, hush now. That's nothing to be crying over. Love is the most natural thing to come to the human heart, you can't fight it although I suggest you don't. It's to be embraced" she rubbed my back in comfort
I felt a weight move off my shoulders at her words. I figured then in that moment that I just needed someone I love to accept me, regardless who it was.
"Love is meant to fill your life with purpose. It's meant to fulfill and make you whole. It's to be natured and cared for. True love is the most powerful gift you could ever receive, it drives our entire beings. Looking into the eyes of someone you love and knowing that there's nowhere else in the world you'd rather be. There's just nothing like that" she had a faraway look in her eyes as she spoke. I didn't know grandpa made her feel like that
