The Falling

Wrong

"You're ruining the atmosphere, kid", Nana scoffed. He wasn't really good at these things and it made him want to die inside, still, Kazuma made him feel comfortable, feel okay. Nana was now pretty much sitting in his lap facing him so Kazuma yanked his sleeves, dragging him closer and pressed his lips against his once again. They were soft and slightly warm. This time Nana clumsily moved along, trying his best to figure it out. He wasn't really in the moment, Nana kept focusing on his movements instead. Was it okay that his hand was laying flatly on Kazumas thigh? Was the way he moved his lips okay? Was it really alright that his nose was breathing so weirdly against Kazumas? Kazumas hands climbed up his arms to his back and continued their way up to his neck, fondling his locks. Maybe everything was okay after all? Nana relaxed and moved along though he kept feeling guilty.

Did he want Kazuma or did he just need him?

19.49 14 Jan

She couldn't help thinking his plan was stupid. Igarashi just leaned in closer whispering in her ear about his theories and conspiracies but she couldn't hear him, she felt ill, really ill. Perhaps she was dying. The thought of Nishina hating her to the point where she would kick her out, that was just scary, Serinuma still loved her, she couldn't understand. Her intestines were twisting themselves into knots so that everything just lumped together into a big clot, a huge heavy tumor growing inside of her. She was no doctor, she couldn't see it but she knew it was there, she could feel it. Stupid Igarashi had left on his own thinking he could outsmart them all, he couldn't, no-one could. They were going to be forced out into nowhere, forced to fight and then eventually just die in the embrace of a hungry monster. She was supposed to be the hopeful one wasn't she, the always smiling one? But how could she smile now, how would she ever be able to smile again? It was all over now wasn't it? Had it all really led up to this? It didn't feel right, it didn't feel fair.

Igarashi put his hand on her shoulder and gave her a bitter-sweet smile. 

"I know things aren't looking their brightest right now but just because you don't see the light it doesn't mean it doesn't exist, alright?" if they were living in an anime her eyes would have sparkled and she would have thrown her fist up in the air in excitement, but that wasn't really the case so she sighed and her shoulders sank down, his words passing by without effect. He leaned back against the wall in defeat, giving up. 

They always had to figure things out, constantly, always solving problems, always doing their best to manage, and now, now she just couldn't bother with it anymore. She always tried her best, she wanted to please everyone, be by everyone's side, support them all... instead, she'd just lost them. No-one liked her, no-one wanted her there. All she ever wanted was being loved, making other people smile and now they all just hated her, she was a joke. Hard work didn't pay off, giving it your all meant nothing, in real life the nicest people die and the manipulative succeed, nothing was fair.

...She had enough of it! Whatever she did she messed it up but who cares, she did her best, she always did her best. Let her friends hate her, what they thought of her didn't matter as long as they were safe! She didn't have to be a part of their happiness as long as they were happy!

The door handle to the back began moving. Igarashi and her exchanged looks. He grabbed her wrist but she yanked it away and began sneaking forward. The boat had left the dock, everyone was inside so it didn't make sense. She grabbed the handle and looked back at Igarashi, he shook his head. What would they do, wait till it stopped and never find out why? She pulled it down and opened the door. Mutsumi! He looked at them surprised like he didn't expect to see them, then he hugged her. What was he doing? Igarashi rushed forward and closed the door letting in cool air behind them.