Sapphire Bones

Embers

My legs were the first to take heed of the sudden backhanded slap of heat. I didn't care how close I got to the fire. It felt good to feel again. Even if that feeling was pain. I reached out with the hand not holding me up.

"Be careful," Beta Roddy said from across the fire but I ignored him and shoved my hand further toward the flames. But just as my fingertips moved into the body a hand caught my wrist and shoved it back away from the warmth.

"Are you trying to burn yourself?" Alpha Jackson snapped but when he felt no resistance from me he let go of my wrist and pulled back. His voice echoed in my head. Angry. Angry with me for being so stupid. I knew what I was doing.

"I-I'm sorry," I said quietly. In the blackness that surrounded my vision, having three bright figures, two men and fire seemed like the light I needed. You get used to the black. To not seeing anything. But then when a demonic wolf-thing gifts you with the ability to see heat it doesn't seem real.

"I'm sure you have questions," Beta Roddy suggested from across the fire. I nodded and responded without a second between.

"As do you, Beta Roddy," submission overtook me. My head bent. Despite the circumstances, they were still the authority and if they didn't want me burning my hand in a fire I had to abide by their rules.

"It's Roddy," he corrected. I lifted my gaze, brows furrowed, and I looked toward Roddy's figure.

"What?" I spoke quickly not realizing what was coming out of my mouth.

"We aren't Alpha and Beta anymore, L," Alpha Jackson said. He was closer than before. Just by a little bit but I noticed. I turned to look at him, the urge to bend my head almost too strong but I kept my neck straight.

"Why?"

They exchanged a glance with each other. I took that moment to peel my eyes from them and rejoin the fire in another go to see who would give first. Instead of just one this time, I reached both my hands out but kept them at a distance safe enough not to sound any alarm bells in either my Alpha or Beta. But that didn't stop either of them from whipping their heads to face me, probably wondering what my next move would be. Would I try and harm myself again? Or had I learned my lesson the first time? Was Alpha Jackson's ridicule enough to sway me to not stick my hand into a fire? I hadn't decided.

"After the attack, we were left alone without a pack. It was easier to revoke ourselves of our titles and go into hiding than face the Council," Roddy spoke first. He didn't sugarcoat why, as I expected. From what I remembered of my childhood, he wasn't the kind to compliment when he didn't mean it. He told people they were fucked without apology. Even as a child, I admired him for his brutal honesty.

"Please don't call us Alpha and Beta," Cole agreed with his partner. "After what you went through, we don't deserve those kinds of titles," he added before turning away, back to the fire most likely. If I could see it would catch my attention too but with only a white-hot signature to identify with the moving flames, there wasn't much to see. Yet I still gazed, the nerves in my eyes burning with the embers and smoke. Heat and smoke-induced tears came to the corners of my eyes. I blinked rapidly to keep them at bay but it only forced more from the ducts.

"You didn't know," I sighed, shaking my head. "I'm sorry for speaking so angrily before – I shouldn't have assumed your intentions."

Apologizing wasn't foreign. I apologized plenty back with Peter but now that I didn't have his hands wrapped around my neck, the words barely passed my lips. They burned the taste buds on my tongue. Each syllable of an apology bit at my gums until they were raw with sores. Sores I couldn't feel but I knew was there. They were from the past, my past. A history I didn't want to repeat or endure ever again. Maybe that's why I stuck my hand into the fire. To forget. Wipe clean a memory full of scars and replace with new ones. Fresh wounds made from the third of four elements.