IDYLLIC

ØNE

“I got in!” Sooa cheered, telling her father. She just received an email from SM entertainment telling her she passed. She currently lives in Japan but she's half Korean. Her father didn't seem to respond which made her go closer.
“dad.. I uhm got in” she said, sounding less exciting.
“okay, that's nice I wanted you out of the house anyway” her father cold heartedly said, not taking his eyes off the computer, he was playing games like usual.

When her mom got home, she came close to her while she was chopping vegetables.
“mom..” she called, walking beside her.
“yes?” she looked at her daughter, stopping what she was doing. She was home from home, not having any rest since her father was a lazy cheater.
“I uhm passed the audition” Sooa avoided eye contact.
“thats nice, make sure to make alot of money and give me you're first paycheck” her mom smiled, going back to chopping vegetables and meat.

“huh?” she stood there confused, her mom slammed the knife down the chopping board and looked at her and let out a heavy sigh indicating she was annoyed.
“are you deaf Sooyoung? I said what I said, im not repeating it. Go fix the table we're going to eat dinner soon.” she scolded her. Sooa gets overwhelmed, all she ever wanted was her parents to love and be proud of her, but as you can see. It was never given to her.

She went to to the dining table, setting the bowls and glasses. Not so long after her mom fighting with her dad because he wasnt coming down stairs to eat because he was too invested on playing his game he mother went down and told her the two of them were just going to eat without him. The two sat down, avoiding any conversation or eye contact. Honestly Sooa was already used to all these.

“wash the dishes after.” her mother coldly said. She nods.
“you have a mouth” she adds.
“yes” she replies coldly.
“don't give me that attitude” she lets out a groan and puts the dishes in the sink and takes a bath. Sooa sighs and makes her way to the sink. A tear falls, she couldn't help her emotions overflow,

‘ah.. why am I crying again?’ she thought, leaving a small chuckle wiping away her tears. She couldn't express her real emotions anywhere. It felt so suffocating, home didn't feel like home to her. She washed the dishes fast and goes up stairs. Locks her bedroom door and cries again.

“grandma... If only you're alive you'd be proud of me right? You'd tell me to do good right?” she talks to herself, tries to comfort herself. Obviously it failed, what she was feeling was beyond pain. She didn't know what to do, she felt like the world was against her. Her parents never failed to confirm that she was a mistake, saying things like they wish she was never born or didn't survive her surgery or rather never survived in the first place.

“I miss you, I feel so lonely here” Sooa cries, hugging a pillow, her room being dark.
“it hurts so much.” she continues to cry. She made a decision that whatever happens she can never go back to Japan without passing that next audition. Her hearts hurt, feels like it has tons of knives in it. Nothing can explain what her pain was, it was one of a kind. She wanted to die, but didn't too. She wants the pain to end so much, but knew she was heavily terrified of death. Soon after crying she fell asleep.

A week has passed and today was her flight, all her stuff and what she needed was packed. Her uncle was there to pick her up, her mother wasn't there and her dad went gambling all his money away again. Her uncle grabs all her luggage and they head to the car.
“you ready?” he asks, smiling. She nods, and gives a small quick smile to him.
“do well, that's it” he sighs.
“im proud of you Sooyoung, I know you did you're best” he pats her head, he knew her pain. She looks up at him, teary eyed. A tear finally fell, continued a stream of pain, but hearing those felt really nice. If only her parents acted like actual parents. They drive to the airport, they talked about loads of stuff, taking Sooa's mind off all her problems. Finally they were at the airport, he escorts her out.

“i'll see you on stage darling, if you think no one is there for you, that no one supports you in this- well exclude me, or if you think no one is proud of you. Be proud of yourself, you came a long way. You're strong for that.” he pats her head.
“oh yeah, i love you. You don't get much of those so I wanted to show how you're important” her uncle smiles and gives her money.
“and here's some pocket money”
“what? I can't have this” she refuses.
“just take it, you'll be late, go shoo” he pushes her to the person who checks you're luggage and passport. She goes in, looking back seeing if her uncle was still there, when she was boarding she waved goodbye and so as her uncle, smiling with joy. She wished she had a dad like him, her uncle and untie doesn't really have a childe since her untie can't actually bear one so they treat her like they're her daughter.

She flies off, also dozing off half of the ride. A flight attendant woke her up calmly and gave her, her food. She gives a small smile and bow, her heart was racing. No joke she has social anxiety. She quickly ate her food and fell back asleep. She took some pills to make her feel sleepy throughout the ride since she has motion sickness.

A woman woke her up and smiled at her, she jolts awake, quicky getting her stuff but failed, she waited for everyone to pass first and the same flight attendant helped her get her luggage. She thanked her again and exits the plane. She waited for her another luggage; she was really struggling. A kind young guy helped her with it and she thanked him, outside she say her cousin, Youngsun, waving at her and calling her attention.

“how was the ride??” she asked,
“I fell asleep the whole ride Sun-ah” she giggles.
“oh..” she chuckles and hugs her tightly.
“last time I saw you, you were just a toddler! Look at you- well im still taller” Youngsun teases.
“fuck off Youngsun... You know im insecure about my height” she rolls her eyes.
“don't worry it's cute” she pats her head.
“I need to use the restroom” she says, giving her her backpack and rushes to the restroom.

The car ride was filled with laughter and catching up, she missed all of this. She felt so homesick back in Japan, she now feels like this was home. They arrived at the apartment, she gets a warm hug from her aunt Hyeji.
“omoo look how pretty my niece is~” she looks at her, hands on her shoulder.
“you must be hungry, I'll cook you bulgogi. You like bulgogi right? It's what mom cooks you when you were a kid remember?” she smiles, Sooa nods.
‘grandma...’ she thought, she misses her so much.
“Yena show Sooyoung her room!” Her aunt shouts from the kitchen.
“yeah!” Youngsun shouts back.
“shut up! So loud... It's so early” Youngjae shouts at Youngsun.
“Jae! That's not how you greet Sooa!” Youngsun
“wait what?” Youngjae peaks out of his bedroom, blanket over his head.
“hi Jae...” she greets, waving her hand a bit.
“thats her?” Youngjae teases.
“Jae!!” Youngsun shouts.
“im kidding, you're pretty now. Anyways I'm going back to sleep” Youngjae goes back and sleeps.

“sorry about him, he's not a morning person” Youngsun says with a annoying tone.
“its fine, I don't mind”, she follows Youngsun to her bedroom.
“your bedroom is next to mine,” she smiles,
“its... big” Sooa looks around.
“oh yea, mom wanted you to get Youngjun's bedroom since he doesn't live here anymore and is married” Youngsun sits down the bed.
“thank you” she hugs her.
“no prob, im going to my room. Call me if you need anything” she exits Sooa's room. Sooa nods and smiles. She starts unpacking, 30 minutes has passed and she hears a knock, she opens the door and her aunt greets her with a tray. Holding a bowl of rice, bulgogi, some fish cakes and mango shake. Some of Sooa's favourite foods.

“ah I could've went down stairs auntie” she panics and takes the tray.
“oh sweetie it's fine. Im glad you're here, make yourself as comfortable as you can hm?” she rubs her back.
“thank you... I'll finish the food” she smiles.
“you better like it” he aunt walks away, she leaves a small chuckle and closes her door. She eats and watches some kdrama while she's at it. After that she goes back to unpacking then goes down stairs and washes the dishes.