kaitlynn rose // h.s

the cliche college scene

@kaitlynnrose: dress up doll

comment by erinreilly: [erins] dress up doll

"I'm so lucky to have a roomie slash bestie who lets me dress her up like a doll," Erin gushes as she finishes my hair.

"Too bad it usually leads to me having to socialize," I huff.

She puts a hair tie at the end of the braid she just did in my hair and sits down next to me. "You were just telling me not that long ago that you felt you'd been doing better with your social anxiety though?"

I sigh. "I mean, just because it's better doesn't mean it's disappeared completely. I guess I meant that the internal battle isn't as big when I was telling you that. I'm still really anxious."

She sticks out her bottom lip in a pout. "I'm sorry. How did your classes go this week though? Did you get through all of them okay?"

"Yeah, I did actually. I was super anxious Monday with the get to know me thing I had to do in english, but it wasn't terrible. I don't understand why those things still exist in college. The weirdest thing happened after the activity-"

Her phone vibrates, which cuts me off mid-sentence. She picks it up and looks at the message. "Liam is here, are you ready?"

"Uh, I guess? Am I ever truly ready for these things?"

"Honestly, is anybody ever truly ready?"

I laugh and take the hand that she's holding out to me. We head downstairs once we've grabbed what we needed.

"So are you and Liam like, official yet?" I ask her as we head over to his car.

"I guess? I dunno. Still figuring things out. It's new."

"You said that last week," I mention. She glares at me as she opens the door to the passenger seat, and I just roll my eyes at her as I get in the back.

"Hi love," he reaches over and kisses her cheek, and I try and hide my smile as I buckle my seatbelt. "Hey, Kaitlynn."

"Hi Liam," I smile kindly. "I thought you said it was at a frat, Erin? Why are we driving? Usually we walk."

"Last minute location change," Liam answers my question for Erin. "We're headed to my mates house instead."

I nod and then turn to look out the window. Erin and Liam talk to each other about their day, while I stay silent. Liam's been around in my life since moving in day a couple of weeks ago, but Erin has been talking to him apparently since the end of last year. They texted each other all summer and met back up the moment that they could.

We arrive outside a huge house after not long, and the place is buzzing with movement. My heart started to race as I looked at all the cars. This was the biggest party that Erin has ever dragged me to. She senses my anxiousness like it's her sixth sense and looks over her shoulder at me as Liam parks.

"You don't have to go in, you know. It's not too late to back out. I know I said you have to but it's ultimately up to you." 

Liam looks back at me too and I shake my head. "No, I'll be alright. Just like, don't abandon me I guess. Please."

Erin smiles and nods. We all get out of the car and Erin grabs my hand to hold as we head towards the door. Liam pulls out his phone and calls somebody.

"Hey mate, I've just pulled up. Where in the house are you? . . . Alright, see you in a minute."

Erin and I follow him inside. The music is so loud that I can feel the beat in my bones. I squeeze Erin's hand and she gives me a reassuring smile. By the time we reached the living room, I couldn't decipher if the beat I was hearing in my ears was the music or my heart. I take a deep breath and try my best not to run into anybody. Liam takes us into the kitchen, where there isn't as many people but still quite a lot.