only you • seulrene

three

after irene had said that she usually took painkillers when the stomach pain got bad, followed by a "why didn't you tell me this sooner?!" from seulgi, she had been given two pills and a glass of water.

that had been an hour ago.

"seulgi~" the smaller girl sang, pulling her blanket up to her chin. "seulgi-ah, seul, my seulbear, where are youuuu?"

the bear walked into the room and sat down next to irene. "shh, i'm here. now go to sleep, you're all drugged up." she paused and frowned. "is that normal?"

"stay with me while i sleep," irene pleaded. her eyes kept glazing over, and she'd have to shake her head to refocus.

"alright," seulgi sighed. she turned around so that she was sitting with her back to the armrest.

"no, cuddle me," the brunette insisted. "i'm cold and if you're cold and you don't have anyone to warm your heart you're in big trouble. i have you!"

seulgi's eyes widened. "ehm..."

irene's eyes unfocused. "if you're going to kick me out, do it now, i'm–" her voice cracked. "i'm used to it."

"no–! what– i wouldn't do that to you," the raven-haired girl said. the fuck, seulgi? did you just tell her you're never going to make her leave??

her eyes still glassy, irene replied, "seulgi-ah, i'm cold."

"irene," the younger girl began nervously, "are you supposed to be a acting like this? does this always happen when you take painkillers?"

ignoring the question, irene went on, saying, "what i– what i said outside, that i like the cold– i love it, but only when i'm hurting... it numbs everything, and you can't feel the pain anymore, and that's good, right?

"but then i– i got to know you a bit, and now i don't want to be numb anymore, i want to feel everything, everything that happens to me– because you make me feel so happy, i haven't felt like that in a while, and i– i don't want to be numb to those feelings."

i can't breathe. i can't fucking breathe. there's something wrong with my head, i'm dizzy, and i feel like i'm having a heart attack.

i'm scared.

irene's eyes refocused, and she looked up at seulgi. "i'm freezing, do you have a blanket or something?"

seulgi laid down next to the smaller girl and hugged her.

pleasantly surprised, irene turned to face the raven-haired girl and draped her arm over the girl.

"this works too," the bunny murmured, her voice muffled.

"i'm not sure you'll remember anything you said to me tomorrow," seulgi said softly. "so i just want to ask: i make you happy?"

"i think i'm happier than i've ever been. thank you."

"i'm happy too," seulgi whispered.

•••

"yah, irene-ah," seulgi whispered, poking the older girl's cheek. "you awake? we can't sleep the entire day, you know."

irene rolled over so that seulgi was spooning her. "i'm not awake yet."

a minute later.

irene shot straight up. "yah! you called me irene-ah!"

the taller girl blushed. "i– well, it felt weird for it to be just one-sided."

irene grinned and said, "just admit that you love me."

seulgi blanched and stood up abruptly. "so, are you feeling better?" can we not talk about love or any of those overly complicated, messy emotions?

irene's smile faltered but she nodded anyway. "a lot, thanks. and i can go whenever you like, since i don't have anything to bring with me except the clothes i'm wearing."

seulgi's face fell at that sentence. "but–" she racked her brain for an excuse to let irene stay.

"but what?" the brunette asked curiously, gnawing on her bottom lip. (which was one of her habits.)

"i don't want you to go," seulgi finished, embarrassed. "i like having you here."

another bullet to the stomach, except this time it was more like a cannonball.

"thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you!" irene squealed, nearly squeezing all the air out of the younger girl. the latter just smiled, relieved.

"now i'm going to go try on your clothes!" the bunny announced happily, turning around and dashing up the stairs.

seulgi just stood there, watching irene disappear upstairs.

maybe i don't have to figure out my feelings. i can just leave them like this.

i'm just scared of what they'll be. 

•••

"how do i look?" irene asked, strutting around seulgi's bedroom in a sheer black crop top and a short black skirt.

the raven-haired girl's jaw went slack. "where did you find those?" she asked incredulously.

"behind all those baggy sweaters you like to wear. now answer me: how do i look?"

unbelievably sexy.

"you look nice, but you can't wear that in november."

the bunny pouted and disappeared into seulgi's small walk-in closet.

and then came out wearing nothing but a long pair of white socks, underwear, and seulgi's favorite black sweater.

it gave seulgi the strangest feeling in the pit of her stomach, seeing irene in her clothes.

especially this outfit.

"what about this?" the brunette asked, looking down. "this one's so big, it goes down to my knees, so i didn't bother wearing pants."

seulgi's mouth went dry. first of all, it was actually a pretty small sweater, which meant it barely reached her thighs. secondly, as if having all that to look at wasn't enough, when irene bent down, you could see her underwear. and seulgi was most definitely not ready for the feeling that came with that.

"you look hot," the raven-haired girl blurted out.

before she had a chance to take it back, irene struck a pose and said, "i really do, don't i?"

seulgi nodded absent-mindedly, silently willing her heart to stop trying to thud out of her chest.

the older girl laughed and hugged herself. "i really like this sweater, can i wear this?"

"for– for the rest of the day?" seulgi swallowed thickly and clasped her hands together. "um, s-sure."

this girl is going to be the death of me.