I can't take it any Longer.

Friend's Matter.

Alfie and I sat in my room talking about everything that i had said in the garden and listened to every word that escaped my mouth.

"Zoe, i dont know how many times im going to say this to you, but i want to help you! You just need to let me!" He said while holding my hand.

"I know, I just makes me worse thinking that im going to bring you down aswell!" I said with tears in my eyes. "I don't even know how i've made it this far!" i said.

"You won't bring me down, silly! You are strong Zoe, and i know theres a voice in your head bringing you down and i know that your panick attacks hold you back but i won't let anything hurt you anymore!"  he said while holding me in his arms.

"But...But Alfie, I'm the one hurting myself.." i said slowly almost in tears again.

"What do you mean?" he said as he looked into my eyes.

I slowly pulled my long sleeve up to my elbow and revealed my cut. Alfie looked at it and then back at me in shock.

"Zoe, Oh my dear Zoe." He grabbed onto me and held me close and we sat there for ages.

After a few minutes of being held by Alfie i told him not to tell anyone about my cut and he understood but told me that he won't stay away until im better. Someone then knocked on the door and then entered, it was Joe and Louise.

"Zoe, Are you alright?" Said Louise.

"Well, I'm a working process." I said with a little side smile.

"Good, i need to make a video. Alfie do you want to collab?"  Joe turned to Alfie hoping he would say yes.

"Yeh, sure!" Alfie said as he looked at Joe and then he turned to me. "Will you be okay." He asked me.

"As long as you come back." i said softly and then Joe and Alfie left the room and left me and Louise there.

"So, chummy, do you want to do a collab?" Louise asked.

"Good idea, I've not done a video for a while!" i said shocked at my last upload that was a few weeks ago.

Me and Louise went to collect my camera and set up the tripod and lighting, we were going to do 'Best Drugstore Bits' and Louise didnt have all her makeup but most of the stuff in her makeup bag were from the drugstore so that was good.

"Now remember Chummy, Just put on a smile and you'll be fine. You don't need to tell them anything about why you've not uploaded or that how you are feeling. Just act like you are talking to me in Superdrug about how amazing this foundation is haha" Louise said while holding up a foundation bottle and then walking over to my bed and sitting down.

We filmed the video in under an hour and as soon as we finished i pulled the card out of the camera and put in into my laptop ready to edit, Louise luckily brought her card with her and we put that into my camera and then sat down again ready to do a video, We filmed the 'Best Friend Tag' i didn't really have to fake anything in that video i just told the truth baout Louise and how she is amazing and how shes always there for me when i need her. We finished,i started to edit my video and Louise put her card into Joe's Laptop and edited it on his, Because he was still filming with Alfie. After we edited we both cleaned up the room and put everything away and both uploaded. Everyone was so glad to see that i was back and especially happy because i done a collab but i couldn't help but notice the comments saying 'She looked sad' 'Zoe looks a mess' 'What's wrong with Zoe?' But Louise told me to ignore it and just focus on the good comments like 'glad your bad' 'LOUELLA" 'yay!'.

Joe and Alfie called us into Joe's room as asked if we could help them film for Joe's video, they already filmed Alfie's which was 'What's attractive in a girl' and on Joe's channel they are doing innuendo bingo. It was funny made me smile and i think they were happy to see me smile. My dad knocked on Joe's door and asked if he could talk to me.

"Zoe, What you said down there took guts and i just want to say that I'm so sorry you feel like that and I've not done much but I'm so proud of you aswell!" He hugged me tight.

"Thanks dad!" i said giving a smile.

"Well i better get back to this garden party." he said walking towards the stairs.

"Oh, Dad?" i said catching his attention. "Yeh, Zoe?" He said, stopping at the top of the stairs.

"Can Alfie and Louise stay tonight?" I said with puppy dog eyes.

"Of course!" he said while walking down the stairs.

"Thanks dad!" i shouted and then i quickly reenetered Joe's room.

I'm glad i got that off my chest and I'm so glad I've got people like my dad, joe,Louise and Alfie in my life.