I can't take it any Longer.

Alcohol. Drugs. Cigarettes.

~ When you get to the night club i suggest you listen to - Tove Lo 'Habits (Stay High)' ~

I made my way to a park and sat on the bench watching children play on the swings. They looked so happy. I replied to some messaes from Louise.

To Louise: Hi, i dont really know what to say. but, im not okay. im at a park right now, in tears. Just give me some time and ill call you later. I love you! x

To James: Yeh i would love to hang out sometime! How about right now? x

I quickly sent both messages and then waited on a reply.

From Louise: Okay Chummy. Call me whenever! Stay safe! I love you too! x

From James: Great, ill come pick you up? x

I told James to come pick me up at the park and he arrived in under 10 minutes. He greeted me with a hug and asked what i wanted to do.

"I hope you dont mind, but tonight i just want to forget everything." i said to James.

"I dont mind, how about night club?" James suggested.

"Great idea!" i said and we walked all the way to a club James knew.

On the way there James asked me what i wanted to forget and i just told him that things were a bit hard at the moment. Tonight i want to get wasted and pretend im not a sad, lonely girl that just had a meltdown a few hours ago. I looked at the time and it was 7pm. wow i have spent alot of time feeling sorry for myself.

James and me walked up to the bar and he ordered 2 shots.

"3,2,1!" we both took the shot as fast as we could.

"Another!" James asked the man.

Another turned into another and then another. My phone must have went of about 10 times while i was at the bar.

"Who's texting you?" James asked while he took a swig of his beer.

"Some over protective friends." i replied and gave him a big smile. "Another!" i shouted over to the bar man.

My phone started to ring again and it was my dad. Decline.

Me and James got up and started to dance and then got to know some people. I felt so free.

I kind of wish Alfie was here.

One of the people we met had drugs and i took some. They also had cigarettes and me and one of the girls went outside and took one.

"Have you ever had one?" the girl asked.

"no" i replied choking on the smoke.

"I can tell." she laughed and taught me how to do it properly and then she gave me a few to take later.

James came out to come and bring me in for another drink.

"I really like you" James shouted over the loud music.

"I really like you too." i said and he pulled me in close and kissed me on the lips. I kissed back.

Me and James ended up going back to his flat. He lived alone. We arrived and we kissed all the way to the bedroom.

I lifted his shirt off as he took of my top. I took my hair out of the messy bun and he kissed my neck.

After our love session i started to feel very odd. I think its the drugs.

I got dressed quickly and checked the time, it was 12am! My phone had 20 missed calls and a few texts. James was asleep on the bed and i just left.

I ran our of his house, horrified at myself. What have i done, what am i doing to myself.

I took out my phone and called Alfie.

"Zoe?" Alfie answered immdediatly and sounded very awake.

"Alfie. I need you." i said holding back tears.

"Where are you? I'll come get you! Don't worry!" he said concerned.

"I'm outside of a guys house, his names James. It's near a night club called 'Tunnel'." i said worrying a bit, i was beginning to panic.

"A guys house!? Okay ill be there as soon as i can, just make you way to the night club and ill get you there!"  Alfie said and he quickly hung up.

What have i done.

We all want something that can take away the pain.

Tonight i didnt feel the pain. I felt free.

But right now, i Just want Alfie.