I can't take it any Longer.

Blood and Tear Stains.

My dad came and picked me up and took me home. I told him what had happened and he was very angry.

As soon as we got home i ran to my bedroom and hid away from everything. I tried to not think about what my mum had said but i know that it will haunt me forever. I could hear my dad on the phone shouting, but i tried to ignore everything.

My world is falling apart.

I'm a mess. My mum and dad are divorced because of me. I've been a dissapointment since i was young. My mum hates me. People pity me. I havent uploaded a video in ages.

i started to cry hysterically and held my legs close to my chest and tucked my head away. I thought of Alfie and was about to call him...but i could'nt, I cant keep going to him when i have a problem.

I found myself looking for something under my bed and pulled out a long box with my name on it. It was pink and had stickers and glitter all over it. When i was in high school this is where i kept my drink and as i got older i hid my cigerettes and drugs in there too. One time when i had my friend round she gave me some cigerettes and also gave me a blade. She told me that if i ever need it, that its a good escape. I never thought i would ever use it.

I pulled the blade from the box and hovered it upon my wrist. i gently placed the tip of the blade into my soft smooth wrist and watched the blood start to pour. I did'nt feel anything. It felt okay. I grabbed some tissues and placed them on my arm and covered the blood and then just sat and looked at my cut.

I then proceeded to look through my box and found many bottle tops in their along with cigerette boxes and matches.

I guess we are all addicted to something that takes the pain away. Each time something upsets me or i can't take something i get a new addiction.

My tears will forever be pouring from my eyes.

The drink will forever be in my stomach.

The cigerettes will forever be in my lungs.