This Time, Last Time (A Harry Potter Universe Fanfiction)

30.

You've got a face that softens every muscle in my body,

I've never needed all these things to feel whole,

Something familiar in the love that you provide.

-"Hideout," Natalie Holmes

August 2018

It was sunny when James arrived back at Elise's the next day. Not hot exactly, but a friendly, lukewarm sort of sunny day, mostly cloudless, and unusual for Ireland. James knocked on the door and instead of coming to let him in, he heard her call through the open kitchen window, "You can just come in." She sounded tired or sad or something. Maybe both.

He stepped to the left of the door and peered into the window where she was sitting at the kitchen table, one leg tucked underneath her and the other folded up to her chest, still in her pajama shorts and a soft white t-shirt.

James frowned, but he let himself in anyway, kicked off his shoes inside the front door, and into the kitchen. It was warm and bright in there and it smelled like early fall, one of those warm September days before the leaves turned. It reminded James just how soon he would be back at school. Only a week remained of the summer and he'd only be at the ministry two days this week due to the back to school staff meetings.

"Hey," he said. Elise tilted her chin up and forward so he could kiss her and said a small 'hi' in return, but then she settled back down, head in hand and only managed to give him a weak smile. James pulled up a chair and sat, leaning forward to talk to her. "What's up?" he asked. "You okay?"

She shrugged, gave him another one of those weak, barely there smiles, and said, "I don't know."

James reached out and put his hand on her knee. "This still about last night?" he asked.

She shook her head. "No," she said. And then her lips quivered a little before settling back into that sad smile. They made eye contact and it faded away entirely, leaving behind this blank, lost look. "I just feel really weird," whispered.

James swallowed. He did not know what to say to this. "Weird about what?" he asked.

Elise looked away, out the window, mouth open and chest lifted with breath, but she didn't answer right away.

A breeze blew in off the water and rustled a few papers sitting on the corner of the counter. One blew off, sailed up, and landed lightly, sliding several feet further before it came to rest. "Elise?" James asked.

"I don't know," she said again. "You're leaving."

"The ministry, yeah," said James. "But not you."

"I know," said Elise quickly, but it didn't sound like she believed it and James got a funny feeling in his throat. He scooted his chair closer still and reached for her hands. She held his fingers loosely and pressed her lips together, eyes trained on the ocean outside.

"I might not... I mean I can't be here every day or anything, but I'll still come see you. As much as I can. And you can go there too, if you want. To Hogsmeade or... we can set up a floo network between my office and here. Have you even been back to the castle since you graduated? You could see it. I can show you my classroom and everything."

Elise was biting down so hard he could see the muscles in her neck tensed.

"Do you... do you want some tea or something? A glass of water?"

"Maybe some water," she said quietly.

"Sure," he said. "Of course." He squeezed her hands and stood up, putting one hand on her shoulder as he passed.