Brothers in Arms

Eclipse: Scalpels and Slip-Ups

"I was an idiot. Naive, foolish. I cannot believe I was ever that trusting. But, Shadow was like an idol to me, an older brother I could change and grow up with. I had no one, really, besides my father, and he was already tolerant enough of my childishness; I knew not to expect anything more from him. I wanted someone to truly call a brother, someone who would care for me." I look up from fidgeting with my foot, absentmindedly scratching my talons over my other arm's crest. "It was my choice to spare him. I had him completely at my mercy, and I let him go. In reality, my race's extinction is as much my fault as it is his." I hang my head a bit, not wanting to look at Agatha's reaction to this.

"But, do not tell him I said that," I add, just for good measure.

"I won't."

"Thank you."

"...Eclipse," she begins hesitantly, and I sigh. "Do you still care about Shadow? About having that bond with him?"

"No."

"Really?" She asks, unconvinced. "Not at all? But..." She trails off, suddenly hesitant to give voice to her question. "He's your family. How would you feel if you never had the chance to make up with him?" The question is careful, cautious, unlike hers usually are, and my mood sours even more than it usually does at Shadow's mention.

"Well, I suppose I could be sad," I say bitterly. "But, why should I grieve for him? I won't play and say that I would be worse for his absence. If anything, I would be cheered."

"Why?" Agatha sounds a bit shocked at that, and I raise my gaze to meet hers.

"Because when a villain falls, no one mourns their passing. After all he put me through, even if he and I could one day make up, I would never count on it. No, I would not mourn him. To me, he is a monster, and that monster is one I have known for most of my life now. In just a short span of time, my life on the New Black Comet will become so small a part of my existence that it is almost laughable. I will not lie to you--I would not miss him. I do not wish to keep him with me. It would make my life much easier, if I did not have to face that invasive reminder of what was." I take a deep breath, trying to gather myself before the emotions roiling at my mental gates burst through.

"I wish I could tell you that I would feel empty, that I would grieve the loss of the person I looked up to through my childhood. But, I honestly do not think I would."

"I understand."

"Do you?" I ask doubtfully. "This seems like a very villainous thing to say, something you would not agree with."

"Actually, it seems very human to me, to use the expression. I would feel disturbed if you just said you wouldn't care, or if you could look past everything Shadow's done with ease. That would be concerning. But, you have a reason for why you wouldn't mourn him, and I understand it. It's a solid reason, and it's a just one."

"Really?" I ask, taken a bit off guard by her softer stance on this.

"Yes. But, I do hope you can find a place to fit with him, one day. Shadow really is a good person, though I imagine it's hard for you to see now. Not that I hold it against you."

"Well, I spent long enough looking up to him. I know there are many things to admire, many redeemable qualities to him. But, you are right. It is hard for me to see him that way, now."

"I understand. And thank you for telling me. I..." She trails off, tilting her head a bit. "I think you have a lot of redeemable qualities, too. Many likeable, quirky things that make you different."

"Not in a bad way?" I ask, calling up a weak grin. It is hard, so soon after talking about Shadow, but I manage it.

"No, definitely in a good way. I happen to like you and Shadow very much, the both of you. I hope you don't mind," she adds, and I shrug.