Dancing with the Devil

Chapter Twenty-One

"What are you doing?" she demanded, rising up on her elbows. 

Ance shoved his hand through his thick hair and walked up the hill a bit to scoop his hat up out of the mud. "You need to get back to camp, Audrey." 

Audrey scurried to her feet, cursing the weakness in her legs. She was no better than a schoolgirl who'd received her first kiss! "And why is that?" she asked, feigning a calmness that she did not feel. 

Ance didn't even look back at her as he fished a cigar and matches from his pocket. "Go back to camp, Audrey." 

Audrey squared her shoulders and strode up the hill. She walked around him and turned to face him, daring him to turn away with nothing but a look. 

Ance stared back down at her, his blue eyes a mask of indifference that Audrey could now tell was a fake wall. Something the man put up to keep the outside world at bay. She had seen those walls come down now and then over the last week and a half with Penelope and she had seen them come down just a moment ago with her... just before the man had leapt away from her as if she'd just admitted she was a leper. 

"You don't get to do that, Ance," Audrey warned. 

Ance grunted. "I get to do whatever the hell I want to do. That's the kind of man I am, Audrey." 

Audrey rolled her eyes. "Don't start your 'I'm a big scary outlaw' routine with me! I know for a fact there's more to you than that." 

"You don't know what you're talking about," Ance replied simply before putting his cigar between his lips and lighting it. "Now go back to camp." 

"Or what? You'll shoot me?" Audrey grumbled. She put one hand on her hip and poked his broad chest with her finger. "You don't get to do this, Ance. You don't get to give me the most leg shaking, earth quaking kiss I've ever had and then turn yourself off and order me back to camp." 

Ance raised a brow and something flashed in his eyes before he once again closed himself off and shrugged. "I'm doing what's right. Now get your ass back to camp." 

"Don't tell me what to do," Audrey replied, sounding very much like an angry child and not caring in the least. She grabbed his arm when he turned to walk away and his predatory gaze landed on her as a growl rumbled in his chest. 

"Don't touch me, Audrey." 

"As I recall you rather like all the touching a moment ago," Audrey countered, feeling herself tremble as she did so. 

Ance shook his head. "It can't happen." 

"What can't?" 

"Us... This..." Ance pointed back and forth between them. "All of this with you, me and Penny. It can't work and it won't last." 

Audrey frowned and let her hand fall to her side. "And why not? You've made promises to my daughter that I expect you to uphold." 

Ance nodded, "And I will.. But not this way. I ain't a family man, Audrey. This isn't me. Now dammit, leave me be. I'll get you all through this alive, get you home and have a role in that girl's life but you need to leave me be." 

Audrey felt her heart burn from the sting of his rejection. "And why? Why do I need to leave you be?" 

Ance let out a long breath. "I don't want to talk about it..." 

"Well too damned bad, you're going to," Audrey replied stubbornly. 

Ance just shook his head and chuckled. "You are the damndest woman I've ever met...." His eyes met hers a long moment before he looked away once more and let his cigar rest at the corner of his mouth. "I'm not cut out to be a family man. I don't know how to settle down and I don't have any interest in a marriage or a home or any of the things that a woman like you would want." 

"I wasn't asking you to marry me, Ance. I was asking you to...."

Ance held up his hand. "I know what you wanted." He rested that big calloused hand on her cheek and Audrey hated herself for leaning into his touch when he was hurting her pride so badly. Ance let his gaze meet hers once more and she saw his sadness but also his sincerity as he spoke. "I won't take something from you that you've only ever given to your husband, Audrey. I... I don't deserve something like that." 

Audrey's heart broke, not for herself, but for Ance. Did he think himself that unlovable? That incapable of loving? What had happened in his life to turn him so cold and sad inside? 

Audrey reached out and let her fingers dance across his beard. Ance growled, yanked away from her and pointed up the hill. "Go back to camp, Audrey. Now." 

"No," she stubbornly stood her ground. 

Ance threw his hands up. "I'm warning you! You either get back there now or I'm going to throw you down right here in the mud and grass and I'm going to take you hard, fast, rough and without mercy for the pain I cause you. I'll leave you used up and broken and you'll hate yourself in the damn morning." 

"So would you..." Audrey whispered--though she wasn't so sure. How much did she really know about Ance? Should she be arguing with him this way out her alone in the dark with all the arousal in the air. 

"I can see the doubt in your eyes, Audrey, that's good. It means you aren't completely daft. Now get your ass back to camp." With that Ance strode away into the darkness and Audrey glared at his retreating form before storming back up the hill and rejoining her daughter by the campfire just as the rain began to fall once again.  

Damn that damned man.......