The Girl I Loved Once

Chapter 5

I plopped my bag down in the locker room. "Hey! Kavinsky!" Darrell slapped my back "what the hell happened in the hallway?"
"I don't know, if I could tell you I would but that was-"
"Crazy," Gabe cut in as he took a sip from the water fountain "but Lara Jean's hot." Darrell laughed "yeah and she's such a good girl, I bet she's crazy in bed."
"Like she'll probably break out handcuffs or wanna have an orgy, like in Pippin." Darrell and I gave him a strange look. "Like...the musical...Pippin?" Darrell chimed in "Like our school play... Pippin?"
"Man you could have chosen so many examples of an orgy yet you chose a fuckin' musical-"
Gabe cut him off, "Hey don't judge! Pippins got everything! War, TWO sex scenes, Fastrada is super hot-"
"Oh my God," I said. "He knows the characters names." Me and Darrell laughed, and Gabe looked annoyed, knowing we both would never let him live this down. "Hey! Don't act like you're such a dude, I saw you looking at the audition sheet for Footloose!" "Hey, doing the school play doesn't make me any less of a man, and Ms. Duvall has been up my ass about doing the show since the drama club got a budget increase." The drama club has been badgering the principal about getting the funds to put on bigger shows, and when they cut shuffle board club, all their funds went to drama club.  "But you know Pippin a  little too well to still call yourself a  man." I said. Gabe slapped me with a towel. "Anyway, all this to say, Lara Jean's waiting outside for you." Gabe said. I stood frozen. "Oh, ok. Yeah cool I'll, uh, be right out." My whole body went tense and I didn't know why. Am I having a panic attack? I had trouble breathing. "Dude, are you ok?". Gabe said. He and Darrell looked at me with worried, but light hearted eyes. "I don't know. Ever since... everything...Lara Jean makes me get this weird feeling. Like, fluttering. I-I never got that feeling with Genevieve, or anyone else. and it's freakin' me out, man." The looked at each other. "Peter do you like her?" Gabe said. I made a pffffffft sound with my mouth. "No way. No, no I could never like her."
"The why are you sweating so much?" Darrell said. "Look, I'm just gonna go talk to her, ok?" They shrugged and I pushed open the door to see Lara Jean leaning against the wall. She looked just as nervous as I did.
"Hey.."
"Hi"
"So about this morning...." She did an awkward chuckle
"Yeah, what was that all about?" I proceeded to prop my knee on the wall so I was comfortably in front of her.
"It was a dumb joke." She said. Oh. So it was just a joke. Even with knowing this knowledge, I pressed on. "Did it have anything to do with the letter you sent me?"
Her face screwed up in a knot. She was getting embarrassed. "No, well, yes. Tangentially."
"Look", I said. "I think you're cute in like, a quirky way," No I don't. I just this she's cute. I sound like such a douche and I've clearly hurt her feelings. Fuck it. I've gone too far I'll just continue. "But Gen and I just broke up, and I'm not in the place where I want to be someone's boyfriend, soooo..." She looked angry. "I mean, I'm flattered, and that you would like me all this time-it's flattering, you know?" She sighed. She looked annoyed. "I don't like you, Peter, so there is no reason you should feel flattered." I'm surprised by this. Oh. Well that's over. I looked around to see if anyone was listening in. "The why did you kiss me?"
She sighed a ugh you're such a boy why don't you understand sigh. "I kissed you because I don't like you. My letters got sent out by someone." Well I don't feel special anymore.  I thought. Why did she have to pull me into this mess? "Wait a minute, letters? How many of us are there?" She paused for a second, and I could feel myself getting more and more nervous. "Five, and the guy do like got one-" I frown. I thought she liked me. "Who?"
"That's personal." Bullshit! She kissed me. I have a right to know why!
"I have a right to know since you pulled me into this little drama...if there is anyone else of course."
"There is a guy!" She sighed "Josh Sanderson." She said quietly. Sanderson? "I thought he was dating your sister?"
"They broke up. And I don't want him to know I like him, so I said you were my boyfriend." I'm hurt, but flattered at the same time. It's a confusing feeling. "So, you used me to save face."
"I mean, yeah, basically." She said.  I laughed. "You're a funny girl, Lara Jean." I see her start to move away from me "anyway, thanks for going along with it." She starts walking "See ya!" I grab her backpack "Wait- so Sanderson thinks I'm your boyfriend now, what do you plan on telling him?" She smiles. "I haven't figured that out yet-" she gave me a confident look. "I'm quirky like that". I let go of her backpack. "You're a funny girl Lara Jean." I said as she backed away from me. She smiled, turned around, and walked in the other direction. She looked back at me at one point and smiled again, and I could feel my whole body get tense.