So.....um...
Stuff happened....(I am going to explain)
And I decided that it would be the best for my own mental health to stop writing for a while.
But that doesn't, I repeat DOESN'T, mean that I'm completley done with this book.
Just for a little while until I get better.
Now, onto the reason behind this.
So about 20 minutes ago I had a fight with my mother.
She said that I should be locked away, killed and that she regrets having me.
And tomorrow I have to go to the psychologist.
Which scares me because for some reason my mother is supposed to go with me.
My grandmother told me that I have to tell the psychologist everything that bothers me.
That includes the traumas from my mother.
I'm scared because I know is I say those things, my mother will deny them and make me look crazy (insane even).
In this fight she yelled at me and threatened me.
And I'll be honest, I did yell back and I did push her away from me a few times.
To me, it was self defence.
Now after this fight my suicidal thoughts returned.
I'm rethinking my life, if I'm worth anything at all.
I've been clean for almost 2 years now.
My mother turned my dad against me. She plays the victim while on the phone with him.
My brother hates me for not letting my mom insult me without fighting back.
She always has to be right. I can't tell her anything.
I just saw that she broke my door.
I don't know what to do anymore.
My dad just asked to talk to me over the phone (he's out of country for work) and I denied just because I know how it goes.
Me and my mother fight, I cry for about an hour amd in that time my mother calls my dad and rants about how horrible I am.
And when he talks to me, he attacks me and it's all my fault.
Well I'm going to stop now.
Spare you all of further details.
I'll try to get better as soon as possible.
Bye Bye...
☆BlackDash☆
