Reminising I remember me and you we used
to play with the dogs
While you were sleep id stare, stare while
you lay in my arms
And now im stuck on stupid rain forrest
couldnt get wetter than you get
I used to beat it up you gave me your love I
abused it now im facing the music
Oh how I yearn for your touch im so lonely
now that you left me
If I could run away you know I would
And im hurtin cause girl I never loved you
like I should
-Trey Songz
~Zacori~
"Hi Z man." Harlem said kissing Zaire cheek. It's been five days in the hospital and I'm glad I get to go home.
"You ready?" He asked putting Zaire in his car seat.
"Yea." I signed the release papers and we left out.
I fastened Zaire in the back and sat back there with him as Harlem got inside and drove off.
"You ok?" He asked glancing at me through the mirror then back to the road.
"I'm fine Harlem thanks for asking."
I leaned my head back and watched Zaire as he sucked on his pacifier with his eyes close. My baby was definitely a cutie.
The rest of the ride home was quiet except for the radio. About 10 minutes later we made it home. I grabbed the baby bag and my duffel bag as Harlem grabbed the car seat. We walked inside the house and I sat the bags down on the couch. As soon as Harlem sat the car seat down Zaire started crying.
"He's probably hungry." I said looking in the bag for the milk I pumped just before we left.
"I can feed him if you want me to." Harlem said holding Zaire and rocking him.
"That's fine." I gave him the bottle and went upstairs to our old room we used to share together.
It's crazy because just a week ago we laid here happy and telling each other how much we love the other and now look where we at. A broken home.
Harlem and I don't talk unless it's concerning the baby or if Harlem wants to keep asking me am I ok. We have nothing to talk about. He cheated and lied so I'm leaving him be. I don't want nothing to do with him anymore. The only way we are talking is if it's about Zaire.
I fell face down on the bed and propped me head on the pillows closing my eyes to take a little nap. A few minutes later I heard the bedroom door open and the bed sink in. I opened my eyes and Harlem was staring at me.
"Can I help you?" I asked looking at him.
"We need to talk."
"There's nothing to talk about."
"We need to talk about us Zacori. I love you and I want to try and work things out for my family." I sat up and looked at him.
"You lost that chance Harlem. You didn't care about your family when you was out fucking anotha bitch. Getting top from ha. There is no us to talk about."
"Stop being stubborn. I just want to know what we gon' to do to make this work." He said reaching for my hand. I smacked his hand away and mugged him.
"I'll tell you what I'm gon' do. I'm going to find me a nice apartment for me and my son. Since we are not together then we don't need to live together. You can have this house it's too big for just two people." I don't care about the house.
"So you just goin' take my son. That's the kind of person you are now." He said getting mad.
"So you thought I was gon' stay in this house with you? You real funny Harlem." I did a fake laugh. "And you know I will never do nothing like that. I will never take a child away from their parent. Zaire is innocent and he didn't ask for none of this. We co parent. That's all I have to say."
I'm not like those girls who take their baby away from their father because the father did some petty shit to them. I don't understand how they do it. It's fathers out there who don't want to see their child but when one actually wants to be in their child life the mother takes the child away because they mad. I could never do that.
"I don't want us to be separate baby." He said pulling me close to his chest.
"Harlem please stop." I said lowly as tears formed in my eyes.
"I love you. I don't want to lose you. I made a stupid choice to cheat on you but I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you. I didn't do it intentionally." He kissed my cheek.
At least he said it was a choice and not a mistake. I hate when people say a mistake when they obviously made a choice that got them in position they are in.
"You did this to yourself. I can't continue to let you hurt me. You did it before and I took you back every time. Now you know I wasn't always going to take you back."
"I know. That was me thinking you would just be ok with it. I shouldn't have thought that. I should've just told you some girl was claiming my baby."
"You made your bed and now you have to lay in it." I said getting out of his hold. The old people favorite saying.
I looked at him and saw tear marks on his cheeks. Without thinking I reached out and whipped them with my thumb. He grabbed my wrist holding them with my hands still on his face.
"I can't believe I'm losing you." He said looking at me.
His problem is not that he didn't know what he had. He knew what he had he just didn't know it would actually be fed up with him and leave.
"Who knows maybe someday we'll find each other and get back together. The love will still be there but until then I need to focus on myself and my child. You should do the same. A relationship shouldn't be on our mind right now."
"You still love me?" I scooted closer to him with my hands still on his face.
"I still love you Harlem. I will always love you." I rested my forehead against his.
"I still love you. I couldn't love anyone the way I love you."
I leaned down and gave him one last passionate kiss. I cupped his face and he gripped my waist. I pulled away and pecked his lips one last time before getting up and going to the closet to pack my clothes. I sighed. Why he had to be so dumb and do this to me?
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