Pure

Chapter nine

I rushed into the hospital with dry throat and sweat covering my forehead,went towards a nurse and asked about my brother,Robert.
She asked the receptionist then told me where to go.

I ran to the operating room and saw mom crying between dad's arms.

"How is he right now?"I asked looking at them.

"They are still trying"Dad said without evening looking at me.
My brain was drumming on my skull as my heart started to race.
I kept breathing fast to calm down but it wasn't helping.
How did I leave his hand?I'm stupid!Just because of Simon.

I ran outside the hospital then my eyes started to water.
He could die because of my stupid mind.
I punched the wall in anger trying to stop myself from crying,feeling pain as punishment but,it's not enough.

I wish those days are just a nightmare.

But,even if it's a nightmare and I woke up ,I know I won't complete my life as usual.

I went to the operating room again waiting,sitting on the floor,looking at the white wall infront of me,staring.

We stood up when the doctor came out.

"Don't worry,he is okay right now.His lungs got collapsed so we placed a chest tube to ensure that all trapped air is evacuated.He must stay in the intensive care for a long period,he will face some breathing problems but,he will be okay after a long time treatment"Explained the doctor giving us hope,making us calm down.
Mom smiled so,that's enough.

Dad thanked the doctor as he was leaving.

"I will stay with him"Mom said and I nodded as okay.

_________

After one week of staying in the hospital,dad and I decided to return back to the house,while mom will stay beside Robert.
He needs her and she can't sleep without him.

I didn't go to CliffordThames gallery since that day but,looks like I got two new mails.

I got them and returned home to my room.
Opened the first one and sat on my bed looking at it.

A stage,a black male body standing on it with a dark grey anatomical heart,you can barely see the dark grey heart in the black chest but,it's visible.
The black male body is playing with a girl doll...with short hair and purple and blue bruises on the face.

"Please,no"I mumbled to myself scared of destiny.
I looked at the back to see words and not numbers.

"Your role?"
It says.
I looked again at the drawing.
I feel like the male black body is for Simon,we found him in a theater the last time so,the grey heart is for him as well but,if it really means Simon,then this means that Simon is with Sarah..the short hair styled doll.

But,why doll?
Is he playing with her?Did he hurt her?

Or did they escape with each others hiding their love from me and now she is regretting it?

What is meant by Your role tho?
There is an answer to this question but,I'm not sure it's the right one.

A theater and an actor hurting a girl,my role can be just watching and clapping or...or what?
Helping her.

Helping her?This is acting at the end but,Simon was at the theater the last time.
He might hurt her in real life,right?
But,Simon is not that type of person.

Okay,I'm stupid!I never thought he could be on drugs one day so,yes he can but,I can't imagine it.

I opened the other one to stop the conversation in my brain.

I kept looking in silence.
I had no words.
Or I had a lot but,not a word can come out clearly.
My tongue was paralyzed.

I understood what it meant suddenly.

A white paper and hair plastered on it.
There is something going on that I can't believe or imagine.
I touched the hair to remember the time I acted like I was removing something from her hair.
The same brown color but,different at how it feels.It's not smooth,it was torn from her scalp.

Blood rushed into my face from anger.
I looked at all those paintings,having lots of thoughts going inside my brain,getting louder and louder.
I threw the painting on the ground..or whatever it is.
Pressing on my head trying to get my anger out but,my brain wasn't helping me.

All I was thinking about was Simon pulling Sarah's hair,beating her and may be touching her.Maybe seeing her as a...doll.A priceless doll.Making her not worthy.

A scream escaped from my mouth and I punched the wall.
I stayed in my place,breathing harshly for seconds then looked at the paintings again.

I took the white one with her hair on and looked at the other side to see a long number.

CliffordThames gallery?!
AGAIN!

I wore my clothes and ran to the gallery again.
I wish I could find anything.

The last time I begged destiny for making me  find something,I saw someone I thought he was dead.

I kept looking at the people around me when I arrived but,no one was looking at me with a look that has a meaning.

I stayed for 20 minuets when suddenly a hand touched my shoulders.
I looked to see someone I know.

"I'm not shocked to see you"I said and he looked at the ground.