For the love of Sacha

I don't understand what you want from me

"Come to rely on me?" Fletch repeated quietly
Jac turned on her heel and flounced away. Why did she say that? Classic Naylor pushing people away. What she should have said was not that she had come to rely on him, although she had, but that she had come to love him. But when was she ever likely to admit that? Never,that's when.
Jac went straight into theatre and didn't see Fletch for the rest of the day so she got something of a shock when she finally went to her office to collect her things ready to go home  and found him sitting on the sofa.
"Christ Fletch you scared me. What are you doing lurking around in the shadows?"
"Are we friends Jac?"
"Erm well I guess so" her heart was pounding
"OK so you see me as a friend who you've come to rely on but you couldn't possibly tell anyone that because it would make you look weak?"
"Yes" she said defiantly
"Are you ashamed of me. Being close to a lowly nurse"
"Don't be stupid Fletcher"
"It's a valid question"
"No Fletch I'm not embarrassed or ashamed of you"
"Ok. I have another question - if I'm just your reliable friend, what was going through your mind when you were kissing me and feeling my cock last night?"
Jac was shocked at his language and the barely concealed anger which was in his voice
"I er, I don't know"
"You don't know? Because from where I'm standing you were looking for some comfort and good old reliable Fletch was there again"
"It wasn't like that"
"I'll tell you what it was like for me Jac. It felt wrong like I was taking advantage of you being upset"
"I told you that you weren't taking advantage"
she interrupted
"I haven't finished" he said sharply "it felt wrong but at the same time it felt so right. I told you I always knew you'd be an amazing kisser, does that not tell you that I'd given it some thought. Quite a lot of thought actually"
"What are you saying Fletch"
"I'm saying that when you said you'd come to rely on me I was hurt because I hoped that you saw me as being more than that"
"I don't understand what you want from me Fletch"
"I know you don't" He said sadly "you won't let yourself. I'd better go" he stood up leaving Jac open mouthed.
She needed to talk to her friend, she needed to talk to Sacha. He would know what to do.
She gathered herself and headed back down to ITU