Guilt (KiriBaku)

Guilt

Bakugou's hands gripped Kirishima's tank tightly, trembling in his grasp. With every labored sob coming from Bakugou, a spasm also came. Kirishima couldn't for the life of him understand what had upset Bakugou so much that he would be breaking down like this, not to mention accept Kirishima's gentle caress along his back. Bakugou's head leaned into Kirishima's chest, his tears dampening the soft fabric below.

There they were, Kirishima noticed, in Bakugou's bathroom, sitting on the cold white tile. Kirishima was sitting in a crisscross position while Bakugou's legs were tucked under him, his weight against Kirishima being the only thing holding him up. "Dude, what's going on? What's wrong?" Kirishima sked Bakugou urgently, only to be rewarded with weak cries.It couldn't have been about earlier that week- could it?

Previously that week, Kirishima had instigated a dare with his friend group to see how much Bakugou was willing to put up with them before he snapped. Even with his explosive personality, Kirishima hadn't expected Bakugou to go off on him at his attempt. Obviously, Bakugou isn't known for having particularly pleasant days, leaving him in a bad mood anyway. But this day in particular was when it all became too much for him. There were too many people trying to get his attention- too many people touching him, and he didn't know how else to respond. He sent a violent blast at the redhead, not even his quirk protecting him from minor burns and a broken nose from the fall. Bakugou suffered three weeks suspension from Aizawa, earning the whole lecture of "You need to control your temper." Kirishima even remembered his class as a whole telling Bakugou to think about what kind of friend he had been to the redhead.

In hindsight, it wasn't Kirishima's best idea, and he was surprised that he was the only one to support Bakugou's impulse, after he got over the initial shock of being attacked by his best friend. The Bakugou now was broken, devastated.

Was it because of his punishment? If so, then Bakugou's meltdown was a little melodramatic, if Kirishima were to be honest. "C'mon, three weeks isn't that bad-"

Kirishima was cut off by a particularly loud sob, looking up to see pure agony from Bakugou's blotchy face. His eyes were red and puffy, yet dry, as if he had exhausted himself from crying, and ran out of tears. The blonde's grip on Kirishima's shirt slackened as he brought his hands up to his face. He couldn't stop crying.

Grabbing Bakugou's wrists through his long sleeve sweater, Kirishima tried to get Bakugou to look in his eyes. The only reaction was a yelp and a very distressed Bakugou jumping back, away from Kirishima. It was then that he realized that Bakugou's crying wasn't the only thing wrong with this picture. In fact, it was probably one of the better things about it.

He had to take one look at Bakugou- one look was all it took- for him to see the many issues Bakugou had in those moments. 'Has he eaten at all this week?' was Kirishima's first thought. Bakugou looked painfully frail, almost as if his body couldn't stand on its own. Another thing Kirishima could tell is that Bakugou wasn't sleeping- as evident as it was with the dark bags under his eyes. The icing on the cake was probably what he discovered next, making another attempt to reach out to Bakugou.

The redhead leaned forward, slowly approaching the mess that was his hardheaded friend. A telltale sign of Bakugou's told Kirishima that his next moves were to be very calculated, as he saw smoke sizzling out of Bakugou's hands. Kirishima was far past just worrying- not even his quirk was threatening.

Bakugou brought his hands up to his temples, attempting to subside the raging migraine pounding in his head. A flash of something danced across Kirishima's vision, and his body moved on its own as he clutched onto Bakugou's hands, ignoring the whimpers of pain coming from the blonde. Scars. Lots of them.

Maybe Kirishima was overreacting, or maybe he was reading into the situation all wrong, but he suddenly felt a fraction of his pity dwindle away, replaced with something more foreign to Kirishima- rage. Without thinking, Kirishima started to yell, louder than he had ever yelled before.

"What the hell, Bakugou?!" He shouted, the blonde's flinching going unnoticed. "I get you want to be the number one hero, but this?!" He unknowingly pulled tighter on Bakugou's hands, earning himself a hiss from him. "You're doing this because you're missing a few classes?! What kind of-"

Once again, Kirishima was cut off by a cry. This one louder than the others- almost like he was begging for the redhead to stop- before it faded into quiet whines. "No.." he said, nearly inaudible to Kirishima. A scowl crossed Kirishima's face as he learned closer, growling at Bakugou to explain.

"It's- it's not that," Bakugou murmured, voice raw. "I've been thinking- probably too much." Kirishima's grip on Bakugou's hands were loose now, as Kirishima calmed down long enough to hear what his friend was saying. "I-I've been thinking about what kind of person I've been lately, what kind of friend I've been to you." Kirishima eyed Bakugou.

"I realized that I was too... too selfish. Too blind to realize how supportive you've been all this time, when I've done nothing but treat you like shit-" Bakugou's voice faltered, a strangled noise coming from his throat as he choked back another sob. "I've been a horrible friend- to you, Deku, and everyone around me. I realized that I had hurt you, and that you didn't even bat an eye because it's 'Just Bakugou'.."

Taking a deep breath, he continued. "I don't want violence to be my default.. It's how I was raised to be like, but I never wanted this..." Bakugou's voice dropped so low that Kirishima was breathing the same air as Bakugou to hear.

"I couldn't take it once I knew how horrible I've been, so I had to punish myself... I knew that you wouldn't even grant me a dirty look. Now, I can't even show my face to anyone anymore.. I'm disgusting.."

Then it all snapped into place for Kirishima. The lack of communication from anyone, despite numerous texts from himself, Midoriya, Tokoyami, and his entire group of friends. Bakugou had avoided them because of something. One word, yet Kirishima couldn't find it in himself to bring the thought into his mind.

'I don't want to hurt you.. not again."

What was this?

'Please just go..."

No, no no...

A sob.

Bakugou, is it...?

"...I'm sorry..."

Guilt?

~

Hi there! !f you made it to all the way down here, I wanna say thank you, and I'm not sorry!

Expect more content from the future (probably not, cause writer's block is a pain in the ass)

If you enjoyed, thanks, but are you stupid?

Anyway, I suppose I'll catch you in the next story (if I make one)?

Bye!