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Chapter Four ~ Infighting

Back in their fusion form? Check.

Seated in the SlenderMansion meeting room with all the other creepypastas involved? Check.

Armageddon fighting with itself? Unfortunately, check.

With the blue-faced proxy being the only one not involved in the argument once again, he was forced to try and listen to the full meeting. Of course, the roommates he was stuck sharing a body with weren't helping.

Although, Shadowlurker supposed he had to give them credit where credit was due. Initially, Dark Link had been taking notes, much like in their private discussion with their master. But it didn't take long for Armageddon to start fighting with itself. Heck, just like the last time, Stripes had started a fight with Dark Link because of his quote-unquote 'sloppy handwriting'. Claiming that if he would let her control the lower set of arms she could do better.

And now, they were fighting about Zalgo-knows-what, causing the body to flail around and scream incoherently. Having three hosts giving one body a variety of different movement commands caused Armageddon to go bananas. Trying to understand and remember all the details of the mission was made nigh impossible.

He had enough.

"YOU'RE A NARROW-MINDED CHILD, ZELDA!"

"COMING FROM THE LITERAL PRINCESS!"

Shadowlurker only took a second to come up with a good way to break up the fight.

"BOTH OF YOU, SHUT IT! DO YOU TWO TRULY BELIEVE THAT NOT GIVING OUR LORD OUR FULL ATTENTION IS ACCEPTABLE?"

"LURKY, KEEP YOUR TRAP SHUT AND GO THROW YOURSELF INTO THE TRASH WHERE YOU BELONG! TAKE THAT HEAD-CANNON WITH YOU!"

He felt hurt. The head-cannon Stripes was referring to was Shadowlurker's hat. A literal cannon he wore on his head. It was his most prized possession, and was greatly feared amoung the empire. Especially amoung his roommates. Because of course, the only part of the meeting Dark Link had written down was regarding said head-cannon. Specifically, Shadowlurker was to bring it, regardless of protest. Of which there was plenty.

It made sense, as the infamous head-cannon rarely shot genuine cannon balls. Sure, it could, but it never did. Typically, it shot random objects. Furniture, household objects, living creatures, dangerous weapons, you name it, Shadowlurker's head-cannon would shoot it.

And Stripes had the audacity to insult it.

"W-Well ... Well I don't like you either! Because... b-because... YOUR HAIR SMELLS FUNNY ON THURSDAYS!"

A show-stopper.

The whole meeting went silent, and about a dozen pairs of eyes fell on the now-frozen Armageddon. Everyone, from little Sally to Lord Zalgo were silenced by Shadowlurker's— or rather, Armageddon's words.

Apparently every word being spoken by the hosts could be heard by everyone outside of the body.

But, of course, Shadowlurker didn't care. He needed to put their princess back in her place.

"AND IT'S THURSDAY... YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS!"

"LURKY!"   Stripes' angered voice, "C'MERE YOU LITTLE—"

Immediately, Armageddon began to flail and scream again, as Stripes tackled the blue-skinned proxy in a bitter (and frankly, petty) rage.

"IT'S TUESDAY, YOU F***IN' MORON!"

This time, it was Dark Link's voice. And he was probably right, but at this point, Shadowlurker didn't care.

"Hey, hey! Break it up!"

The long, black tentacles that forcibly restrained Armageddon, holding it in place, told them exactly who it was. Someone who wasn't afraid to hit Armageddon hard enough to break the fusion. Someone who didn't tolerate fighting. Someone who actually cared about the threat the comotion posed to the safety of the other creepypastas.

Slenderman.

"Alright you three, knock it off!" although the faceless man's voice was stern, he wasn't yelling at them. Which, for anyone under Zalgo's reign, was almost scarily unfamiliar.

"Zalgo, I believe that from here on out, all fighting should cease and desist amoung our pastas," if Slenderman had eyes, his glare could've shot daggers, "Including within our groups."

"They're roommates AND they share a body. Two words: Not happenin'" the eyeless demon shot back.

It was a scene that was easily predicted. With Slenderman and Zalgo arguing, Slender's pack staring at Shadowlurker and his two idiotic roommates in what he couldn't determine if it was disbelief or disgust, and Zalgo's army shaking their heads and looking away.

"So... uhh... are we gonna actually be told our mission or not?"