To All The Boys I've Loved

To Pursue, and to be Pursued

Song: Fifteen by Taylor Swift

In Shakespeare's masterpiece, "A Midsummer Night's Dream", Helena pretty much states that women are meant to be pursued. If you're wanting an actual quote on my fake essay hook then here: Helena exclaimes to Demetrius "We [as in women] should be pursued and courted. We weren't made to do the pursuing". Demetrius then leaves the stage like your average teenage boy as soon as a girl brings up her interest in him. Lol.

Freshmen year I was both the pursued and the pursuer. Except when I say I was being pursued I mean I was completely oblivious to the attention I was receiving. Go figure.

As I began my journey into the crazy world of highschool-complete with drama, gossip, "tru luv", and many boys- the fates decided to be on my side. Not only did I sit behind Mark Winnel in Physical Science, but the blue-eyed unnamed stud was placed in front of me in Geometry. For once, I was thankful for seating charts and their ability to place people near each other regardless of social groups. The mythical seating chart is ruthless, but it also must be a sucker for romance. Why else would it place me here with my two heartless romances?

I had science to start the day, and math to end it. Could life not be any more perfect? Starting the day with one guy and ending with another, it was like every noncommittal dream my underdeveloped brain could think of *sigh*. Of course, I only needed to figure out how to get them to like me back. Simple.

I made it so that we didn't get much done in class. Science would be spent giggling with Rhea over stupid things and then targeting Mark with the classic "I don't understand what's going on". It was a lie. I was the Cady Heron in my science class. But Mark always helped, and my awkward self would become a turtle whenever he actually did. Not the best flirting technique.

In math it wasn't always my fault as to why we never got anything done during the designated class period. Madster sat next to beb (blue-eyed babe. Or beb. Try saying it. Do it.) because they both did basketball and were hardcore babe-ly athletes. She was my 'in' with him, and continued to be for other ventures later on.

It was a different different dynamic in this class than the other. I soon found out that I could be my complete self in front of all of them, because Mads accepted me for what I was. It made sense, she was pretty much the athletic version of me, with a love for science instead of math. And because she accepted me, the others did as well. By others I mean beb. Or Asher "The Smasher", supposedly he was a big deal when it came to state records. I wouldn't know, as I didn't particularly care for sports.

With Mads sitting next to him, but completely doting on me the whole time, his attention soon turned towards me. Whether it was to pester me about class notes, what I was reading, or with useless small talk, his time spent facing forward soon became less than the time facing me.

I wasn't used to this much attention from the male influence. So I did the only thing I knew how to do when I felt awkward: I read.

So much, in fact, that I almost had a new book in my hand each week. Half of the semester was spent like this. Giggling and bickering with beb until I felt awkward, and then blowing him off for my novel of the week. This, my dear friends, is known to flirts as "playing hard to get". To me it is known as the "armadillo technique". Boys becoming too much for your awkward self? Turn into a book. Not like *poof* you're a five star read (because we all are top notch people, understand? Doesn't matter what you've been through, your life story is a five star read), but more like "ahhhhhhhhhhhfhdjskfnds I dunno how to respond to mild teenage flirting, my brain is shutting down crap cute guy ohh look I'm just going to casually open this book and read it to calm my blushing cheeks".

To balance out both men, I would walk around the school during lunch trying to figure out how to run into both of them. My path was random, and probably very obvious to everyone who saw me, but it allowed me to pass the secluded area where the nerds ate and the locker room entrance where the jocks hung out. Casually walking, lip syncing to whatever music my iPod was playing, and scanning the area to make sure Mark or Asher would see me. My only rule was to never make eye contact with them. Act uninterested while walking around. Then they'll fall in love with your self modelling. Es obvio.