To All The Boys I've Loved

Reawakening

Song: What Makes You Beautiful by One Direction

In most schools, having a new kid wouldn't be a special occasion. The kid might be introduced to their classes, but it normally doesn't cause a grade-wide rift. But being a new kid in a small school is a bit different. Maybe it's because I've only had experience in schools of the small category. On their first day of class they are placed in the social friend group that they will most likely stay in for the rest of their life. So they better hope they run into the right people as they walk in (I have done quite a lot of running into people in the hallway but that never changed my social status... or my relationship status for that matter).

Those who don't make it out of a small town right after graduation are more than likely to be stuck in it for their whole life. And the next generation will be doomed to the same small town curse as those who came before them.

My reawakening towards boys can be pointed towards two events that dealt with the colour blue.

They happened almost simultaneously; one with a prolonged build up and the other as a firecracker into the heart. Yes, I'm talking about crushes. They were polar opposites (besides for the cerulean blue eyes they had).

The first to clear my brain from the haze was a shy, geeky kid. Mark Winnel. I hadn't really ever taken notice of him until I ran for student body president, which failed, but eh I was only doing it because I didn't trust any of the current officers. Not because I wanted the responsibility of managing my whole grade.

His locker was next to mine, so I tried to use the advantage of being "neighbors" to win him over. Which also failed, since his best friend was running against me with his "Yolo Campaign". We had only ever exchanged a few words, but Mark Winnel was winning the game to unlock my obsession for boys all over again.

Afterall, he passed my nonexistent checklist: He was tall, pleasing to my eye, nice, and smart. Having actual intelligence was part of the list because I obviously held the most intellectually expanding conversations being a basic girl in middle school. I saved most of my thoughts for Ivy, whom I only wrote in when I couldn't pester Rhea. Rhea lived down the street and started a mini Twilight-esque acting club with me. We were the two members and had held three meetings total. It was a pretty big deal. In the whirling winds that is life, I discovered that she would be my rock throughout it all. From day one to most likely whenever one of us dies. Or not, she promised to haunt me when she goes if I'm still living, and I will hold her to that promise. A world without Rhea is not a fun world to be in.

Look at me getting all sentimental instead of talking about my obsession with boys. Get your act together, this isn't group therapy. Back to the story.

The other walked in with such 8th grade confidence I smashed my sandwich into my cheek instead of my mouth when I saw him for the first time. With homemade strawberry jam sticking to my left cheek I witnessed an irl slow-mo video of the new kid walking into the common area. Angelic voices came from above as he flipped his Justin Bieber bowl cut style hair to the side. A pink vignette settled in as his electric blue eyes landed on me. He gave me a small smirk and a playful wink and at that moment I knew I couldn't hold myself to the "no boys" rule anymore. I wasn't a nun! And even if I was, nuns love Jesus, so that's still technically someone of the male category.

I would've been stuck in this rose coloured dimension for quite some time if I hadn't felt a potato chip scrape the jelly off of my face. The snickers that soon echoed around my table created a slight blush as I realized how blatantly obvious my day dreaming is. Wiping strawberry jelly off of my face, I took one last look at the new cool kid, and shook my head free of the icicle eyes I had just witnessed.

"Who is that?!"

Because whoever he was, he would obviously love me and my nerdism. Mads did, and she was a jock-our best hurdler and volleyball player. It didn't take anything besides my awkward quips to win her over. Like asking our very strict algebra teacher if his refrigerator was running when he asked if any of us had questions after going over the assignment. Or my very loud fangirling over Percy Jackson. Needless to say, I had an "in" with the popular people if I ever wanted to be one of them. And although I had many opportunities to do so, I turned each one down. I was okay with my modge podge friend group.

Leaving middle school was easy when you have limited amount of friends that live nearby. Leaving the cerulean eyes of my interests with no promise to ever see them again was a totally different story.

What if they ended up like Madster's boyfriend? Uprooting themselves from the life they currently had for one somewhere else far away from me, thus ending any and all ties. Of course, my boyfriends' didn't know that we were dating, but that was just a minor detail. They would soon profess their undying love to me. All I had to do was wait.

~~~~~~

Thank you for reading TATBIL! Unlike Twilight, I don't expect you to go #TeamMark or #TeamRandomDude (I can't spoil his name ;P). Song choice is just because all of us tweenyboppers loved that song. Heck, it still livens up a party bahaha

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