Missing Happiness

*5*

It was lunch time and all of them were sitting around their big table while waiting for Jin's food. They were so silent that even the sound of clock was like clapping. Namjoon coughed to get everyones attention. They all looked at him and waited gor his words.

,,So you know we need to finish our new album. I've been talking with some of the staff members about one idea and they agreed with it. We have to write solo songs. If you would like some help you can ask me or Yoongi or Hoseok but now let's eat. Oh and I've almost forgot they will measure our height and weight so we know who should do a diet."

,,Okay enjoy your meal!" Jin spoke with smile and started eating like everybody else. Except of Taehyung of course. He just stood up and put his plate next to the sink.

,,Taehyung why didn't you eat anything?" Jimin caught his hand. It hurt him but he just smiled and shook his hand off.

,,I'm not hungry I will go to my room I want to start writing right away." He left quickly so no one could even spoke. It made all of them sad but what they could do.

Taehyung closed the door and sat down to his table. He took some papers from his drawer and started writing. He was surprised because he never knew how to start and now he couldn't stop writing. Everything he felt, every emotion, every tear it was all written in his song. About twenty minutes later he put down the pencil and looked at his work. Someone would say he did amazing job but he still heard the bad words. He felt that his song wasn't good enough like himself. Because horrible person like him can't make a good song right?

He grabbed the lyrics written on paper and threw them into a bin. Hot tears started rolling down from his eyes and he couldn't do anything to make it stop. He needed to do something to throw away all the anger he felt. Taehyung stood up and ran to his bathroom. He washed his face with cold water and then looked into the mirror. Red puffy eyes, deadly pale skin, swollen cheeks and icy cold lips. That was what he saw. A body without soul. He looked like a zombie. He hated it, he hated himself and then a breaking glass could be heard. All the members jumped from their places. They were surprised. Namjoon and Hoseok stood up and ran to Taehyung's room.

,,TaeTae? Where are you? Is everything okay?" Namjoon asked while slowly opening the door. Hoseok was right behind him but when he saw sherds he ran to the bathroom and knelt right next to him.

,,Namjoon call Seokjin! I need some bandages! Taehyung hurt his fists." Hoseok held his hands and tried to be calm. Jin came right away and took Tae downstairs. Namjoon stayed in and started cleaning broken mirror and blood. He was surprised because of all the things that happend but he was more terrified when he saw dry pool of blood next to the toilet. Did Taehyung got hurt and didn't tell them anything? He didn't know.

When he was done cleaning he wanted to throw everything to the bin but he saw two papers covered with words. He took them out and started reading. The title was Stigma.

I’ve been hiding it
I tell you something
Just to leave it buried
Now I can’t endure it anymore
Why couldn’t I say it then
I have been hurting anyway
Really, I won’t be able to endure it

Now cry
It’s only that I’m very sorry towards you
Again, cry
Because I couldn’t protect you

Deeper, deeper, the wound just gets deeper
Like pieces of broken glass that I can’t reverse
Deeper, it’s just the heart that hurts every day
You who was punished in my stead
You who were only delicate and fragile

Stop crying, tell me something
Try saying to me, who had no courage
Why did you do that to me then

I’m sorry
Forget it, what right do I have
To tell you to do this, or that

Deeper, deeper, the wound just gets deeper
Like pieces of broken glass that I can’t reverse
Deeper, it’s just the heart that hurts every day
You who was punished in my stead
You who were only delicate and fragile

I’m sorry I’m sorry
I’m sorry my brother
Even if I try to hide it
Or conceal it, it can’t be erased
Are you calling me a sinner
What more do I have to say

I’m sorry I’m sorry
I’m sorry my sister
Even if I try to hide it
Or conceal it, it can’t be erased
So cry
Please dry my eyes

That light, that light, please illuminate my sins
Where I can’t turn back
The red blood is flowing down
Deeper, I feel like dying every day
Please let me be punished
Please forgive me for my sins
Please

And as he stopped reading all he could do was cry.

***

Sorry for not updating I lost all ideas. Love you all. Thanks for support! ❤❤❤❤

>i-love-butterflies<