Missing Happiness

*1*

,,Okay, let's have another break." They were practising new dance moves. It was hard, but everyone were doing their best. Then Hoseok walked to Taehyung.

,,TaeTae, you keep doing mistakes. Is something bothering you?" He asked and put hand on his shoulder.

,,No, I just didn't slept well. That's all." He smiled with his box smile.

,,Okay." Hoseok walked to the others. Tae felt horrible for lying to his hyung. He wasn't okay at all. His head hurted so much and he felt dizzy. But still he didn't tell anything.

When the break ended, they started dancing again. He sweated a lot, because he was dancing in a sweater. Even though he was literally burning alive, he couldn't pull up his sleeves. That was one of his secrets. These little lines on his wrist.

When they finished, he rushed into the bathroom, letting other members confused. He quickly locked the door and pulled up his sleeve, to reveal open wounds. He turned the water on and started to wash all the blood on his arm.

When it stopped bleeding, he sat down on the floor and started breathing heavily. His wrist was hurting really badly. It took him a while to calm down. Then he pulled down his sleeve and made sure that even a small drop of blood wasn't on the floor or on the sink. He opened the door and walked back to others. When they saw him, they ran to him.

,,Tae, are you okay?! We were really scared!" Jimin asked him with worrying look.

,,Sorry guys, I just didn't felt good." He told them with a smile. Fake smile.

,,You should told us!" Jungkook hugged him tightly. He accidently touched Taehyung arm. Tae bitted his bottom lip, because of the pain, but nobody notificed it. They picked all of their things and ran to the car.

About seven minutes later, they were home. Everyone was tired, so they decided to have dinner and then go to bed. But Taehyung ran straight to his bedroom. He was hungry, but he didn't wanted to eat. He locked door and sat on his bed, while taking off his clothes. Then he walked to bathroom. He turned the lights on and looked at himself in mirror. He felt one thing. Disgust.

He was looking at his body and felt tears in his eyes. Everything about him was wrong. His face was too chubby. His thighs were too thick. His waist wasn't thin enough.

He was thinking about why can't he be perfect. Why can't he be skinny like Jimin? Why can't he be handsome like Jin? Why can't he be awesome dancer like Hobi? Why can't he be smart like Joon? Why can't he be good at writing beautiful lyrics like Gi? Why can't he be cute like Kookie?

For him, everyone was perfect, except himself. He started crying really badly. It hurt so much. He wanted that pain to go away and he knew what could help. So he opened drawer and grabbed a small silver blade. He took a deep breath and then slide through his skin. Red liquid started running from the wound and dropped on the floor.

He was fascinated and wanted more. More of blood and less of pain. He did more lines and still watched the blood. Meanwhile others were in kitchen, quietly eating.

,,Will Tae come?" Jin asked, but nobody answered. Then he stood up and picked a plate with dinner. He walked upstairs and knocked on his door.

,,Tae I brought you a dinner. Please open the door." Tae quickly bandaged his arm and put on a T-shirt with long sleeves. He walked to the door and opened.

,,Thank you hyung." Taehyung smiled. It was fake again. Jin gave him plate and smiled. Then he walked again and Tae closed door. He looked at the food. It looked delicious, but then he thought about his body.

,,Should I eat this?" He asked himself.

,,No! You will gain weight and ARMYs will be disappointed! Do you want to disgusted them even more?!" He heard every word from that voice in his head. And he wanted to cry again. He did a decision. He threw the dinner into a bin and put the plate on the table.

***

Aloha
I know it's bad but I'm not really good in writing stories. Sorry for bad grammar.❤❤❤❤

>i-love-butterflies<