Beneath the Porcelain Mask

38. Crave the rose

"But he who dares not grasp the thorn

Should never crave the rose."

Anne Brontë

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As the grandfather clock in the parlour struck seven in the morning, I took Marius's arm and followed him outside into the courtyard. He'd insisted on escorting me to the carriage to see us off.

It was still dark as we crossed the stony drive towards the horses, but I could still make out the dark shapes of Cossette and Jeremy as they parted from a tight embrace. From a few feet away, I spotted the shine of torchlight in his eyes and smiled to myself. He squeezed her hand and kissed her cheek, stepping back to acknowledge me with a smile.

I looked up at Marius. "Thank you for having us."

He patted my gloved hand with a small smile and shook his head. "It was our pleasure."

He let me go. Cossette stood before me, dabbing her eyes with her handkerchief.

"I'm going to miss you!" she said under her breath, throwing her arms around my shoulders and pulling me close. I patted her back fondly. She drew away and looked across into my eyes, her own soft brown ones overflowing with tears.

"We'll see you at the wedding?" I said, and she nodded eagerly, glancing over her shoulder at her husband. Marius and Jeremy were engaged in a hushed discussion, though I didn't fail to spot the handful of notes Marius handed over.

Cossette caught my hand in a vice-like grip. "You can't tell Marius," she hissed, and before I could point out that I was leaving and wouldn't have the chance, she pressed my palm over her flat, corseted stomach.

My mouth hung.

"I've told Jeremy. He swore not to say a word until I'm absolutely sure." She couldn't suppress her grin any longer. "Marius and I... we've been trying for such a long time. I can only pray I will not suffer any... faults this time."

"Cossette, this is wonderful!"

"Nikki?" I glanced at Jeremy. "It's time to go now."

His voice was as soft as the velvety darkness, and I let him take my hand, only to find myself drawn gently to his side and his lips on mine for a chaste moment. He pulled away with a light frown, tasting his lips.

"Cook packed you full of cream buns, didn't she?"

I grinned. "Perhaps."

He shook his head fondly and helped me into the cab. I gave Cossette one last smile and climbed up. Jeremy embraced Marius once more, as if he might never see him again and not in three simple weeks, and muttered his goodbyes. I caught Cossette's eye through the window. She raised a sad hand, and I waved back as Jeremy clambered up after me. The footman shut the door.

"We'll see you in Rouen," Marius called. The crack of a whip rocked the carriage, and four sets of hooves crunched their way down the drive.

I stole one last glance through the window at the darkened frame of the house. In the light of the doorway, a third silhouette watched us go. Jeremy leaned out of the window and waved until we passed the gates.

I let out a long breath. Three weeks. The countdown was on.

Dawn hadn't broken very long before the horses stopped. I glanced up from the score I was revising in the dark at the street we'd stopped in.

"Jeremy, where—"

"The village, remember?" He pushed his hat on and fetched his walking cane from the floor as the footman opened the door. "It's a long journey. We're going to need a bit more than breakfast. Besides, I wish to show you something."