M.A.R.

Chapter 18

Ami sighed as she collapsed on to her bed, exhausted from the day she just had. Chanay’s arrival, Rebecca’s news, and talking to Mr. Dally… Today was undeniably a tough day for the young teenager.

Rebecca’s news blew past her mind again, making its presence stronger inside Ami. Someone was going to adopt her… Someone actually agreed to add her to their family despite what was said about her and besides the fact that everyone avoided her. She was going to have…a home.

The thought of having a home confused her. She’s never thought of living anywhere else than with Rebecca. It was hard enough to leave Ritsuka ten years ago…

Ami’s eyes flew open at the realization of what she had just thought. If she goes with this family she’d have to leave Ritsuka… Again… And now with Mitsukuni around… Well, she’ll have to leave him, too, right? Frustrated and drained, Ami buried her head back in her pillow, just wishing for the pains to wash off her shoulders. She didn’t know whether leaving them both behind would be a good thing or not. Should she even tell them about this adoption?

“If she had any heart at all she would stay as far away from you as she could!” Chanay’s warning echoed in the depths of Ami’s clustered mind.

A grimace suddenly grew on to Ami’s lips, tears budding in her eyes as the emotions of being shunned hit her again. The feeling was turning out to be like a bear that chased as you ran from it; it was something Ami couldn’t escape no matter what anyone had said.

“No…” Ami whispered to herself that dark, windy night, her mind made up without a second thought to it. “I don’t think I’ll tell either of them…”   

I’M GOING TO PROTECT THEM BOTH!!! She screamed into her head as she buried her tears in her pillow case. She knew she sounded stronger in her mind, anyways…   

“Ami! Ami, please stop!” Ritsuka called out, barely catching the red head around the corner of the junior building, grabbing her by the shoulder and making her stop her escape.

“What, what Ritsuka?” Ami puffed, turning around to face him seeing how she was cornered.

Ritsuka huffed at how difficult she was acting, throwing his hands up in the air as if he had given up a contest. “Are we going to have to go through this again?” He asked her.

“Maybe…” Ami answered swiftly under her breath. “I just don’t want you to be cut out and avoided from things and…life. Like how I am!”

The blonde growled at her, slamming his hands onto the wall behind Ami and caging her in his arms, frustrated with how she was acting. “I don’t know what else to do, Ami! I’ve tried and tried so hard to prove to you that I will always be your friend and-and even more if you’d want to! But you always push me away claiming to ‘protect’ me!”

“It is to protect you! More and more people are avoiding you every day because of me! And-”

Ritsuka banged on the wall next to her. “I don’t think it’s because you want to protect me, Ami!” he cut her off angrily, staring down at the ground as if he were disgusted with her right now.

Ami stayed hushed as Ritsuka continued to stay quiet, worried and afraid of how he felt about her now. She only wanted to protect him, like how he had always done for her… Ami shifted on her feet, wondering what he meant by her not trying to protect him. But, then again, did she really dare to ask?

“Wh-what do you think I’m trying to do to you, Ritsuka? If I’m not trying to protect you?” she asked courageously.

Ritsuka looked up at her, his amethyst eyes suddenly saddened and pained to a considerable degree. “This other guy…” he started off, letting his arms slip down the wall as he pulled away from her. He turned away, not wanting to see her expression when she decided to answer. “Do you really love him more than me?”

Ami’s eyes went wide and her heart fell to her core. A loud gulp sounded down her throat, and Ritsuka sighed upon the sound of it. He knew what that meant and didn’t need much more of an answer as he began to turn away from her, head held low.

As if it were a reflex, Ami latched her hand to his arm, stopping him this time. Ritsuka stopped, but didn’t turn back to her.

Her throat suddenly went dry, making it almost impossible for her to talk to him. Not like this, at least. She had no idea what to tell him. She had no idea how to answer the question to herself… Ami gulped again to try and moisten her parched mouth, but it was like swallowing air. There was no moisture at all.

Still unknowing of what to say, she took a deep breath anyways and opened her mouth. Yet, the only word that would come out of her was “R-Ritsuka…”

Ritsuka sighed aloud, trying to cast away the misery in his voice before he spoke. “What, Ami? What do you want with me now? You keep toying with me, acting as if you like me one moment them running far away from me the next! I can’t stand it anymore! I… I can’t stand you…”

The world suddenly froze over. Ami stared at him wide-eyed and in shock. Her heart ceased to beat, her breathing stopped. All of her insides sunk to her shoes and she shivered in her skin. Yet, all she could do was stand there. She didn’t have the words to say a thing.

“All I’ve ever wanted, Ami,” he continued after a moment of silence and another sigh. “All I ever wanted was for you to be happy… And maybe I was being selfish, or maybe it was just an old habit, but I wanted to be your happiness. I wanted to be the one that you could count on; I wanted to be the one you would go to for the truth! Now there’s this other guy…and he seems to make you happier than I do. So, bye Ami. Have fun…” he grunted, easily snatching his arm out of her limp grasp.

Suddenly all of it hit her as she heard his footsteps walking away. Ritsuka was leaving her. He was seriously going to leave her like how his father wanted him to do or Chanay wanted him to do or how society wanted him to do! It was what she had sought after all along to try and protect him, but…

Ami stood there in the hallways, her heart numb to the tears trailing down her cheeks. She sucked in a breath, trying to stop the sob from escaping her lips only to let it build up in her throat. Shutting her eyes as the inevitable cry exploded out of her, she finally regained feeling as comforting, familiar arms wrapped themselves around her, encasing her in its warmth and protection, it’s hushing sighs only making her cry out even more as she collapsed in his arms.

Ritsuka was going to leave her… It was what he wanted, but… Why does he always come back?

“Ritsuka!” Ami whispered, hanging on to his shirt. “Why?! Why come back? I’m such a terrible friend and an even worse person! How could you come back for me?”

“I was only six steps away, Ami. It wasn’t that far to walk back.” He joked, trying to brighten her up. It obviously didn’t work as Ami contained to cry with the same amount of force as before. “Hey…” he cooed, getting her to look up at him with her puffy, red eyes. He smiled softly at her despite her appearance as he whispered his reason. “It’s because I’m in love with you, Ami. Love makes you do stupid things.” He answered her, his beaming smile glowing and apologetic at the same time.

Ami’s heart fell lower as another large sob jumped out of her, and she buried herself away into Ritsuka’s warm embrace once more…