Silver Guns and Coffee Runs

2: What the F*ck happened last night?

Lance's POV

I groaned, my head killing me. "Jesus," I said through gritted teeth. I'm never getting wasted again! I moved to get up but stopped when I realized there was something restricting my movement. I looked down to see an arm wrapped tightly around my--bare--waist. "What the hell...?"

I looked up to see Shiro's peaceful face as he slept on the pillow next to my head. I fought back a shriek when I realized that I wasn't in my house! A groan brought me out of my confused state and I lightly turned my head to see Keith smooshed against my side.

What the fuck happened last night?

Then all the memories come crashing down on me.

I got super drunk at the club last night. I danced in between the two of them until one am where we all left together. There was lots of...intimate touching last night, which explains the nakedness. Fuck! Did we have sex?

I look down and can confirm that we indeed had sex when I see my naked bottom. Well shit. I look around and try to figure out where the fuck I am.

The room is nice. It's large, with what seems to be a king size bed. It's clean save for the men's clothes strewn across the room. I see a picture of Shiro so we must be in his room. But then I see another picture of Keith. And then one of them kissing.

And oh fuck.

Keith and Shiro are together.

And I fucked them.

I'm a fucking homewrecker!

I wheezed as I fought to control my breathing. Shit. This is bad. When they wake up all hell's going to break loose if they find me here. I gotta get the fuck out of here. I slowly slide out Shiro's arm, careful not to wake the slumbering hottie. As soon as I manage to get Shiro's arm off of me, I slowly crawl down towards the end of the bed.

I sigh gratefully as I manage to get off of the bed without waking the two boyfriends. I quickly grab my clothes off the ground and put them on, ignoring the slight disgust in wearing the same clothes two days in a row.

I shove my hand down the back pocket of jean shorts and--yes! I pull out my phone and thank every god in the sky I'm at eighty percent. I carefully slip on my shoes and tip toe towards the door. I reach the door and put my hand on the doorknob when I look back.

Last night was amazing. Possibly the best night I've had in a very long time. But I can't enjoy that happiness because it doesn't belong to me. Should I leave a note or something? I feel bad just banging and deashing. But at the same time they were probably too drunk to even remember the fact that I was here. It'd probably just make things awkward.

I slip out the door and close it as quietly as possible.

___________________________________

I dial the number and cross my fingers. "Hello?" Allura answers. I let out a breath I didn't realize I was holding in. "Lance? What's wrong?"

"I need you to come get me," I say.

"Lance. What's happened?" Allura says. I can hear the barely concealed rage in her voice as she asks the question. "What did those two figli di puttana do?" (mother fuckers)

"Just please come and get me." I say. I don't want to answer her question. Because if I do then that means I have to face what I've done.

And I'm not ready for that.

____________________________________

Allura's silver porsche pulls up next to me and I hop in gratefully. I slam the door shut and buckle myself before turning to face Allura. She looks at me, a mixture of rage and concern etching on her face, and sighs.

"Alejandro Mateo McClain, what the actual fuck happened?" she asks, as we drive down the highway. I look down.

"We fucked," I said. Allura choked on air for a few seconds before she regained her composure.

"You...fucked?" she asks, staring at me in surprise. "Like...you know..really? Wow. That's great."

"No it's not great, Allura," I snapped. "Because you failed to mention to me that they were together! I'm a goddamn homewrecker!"

"Lance.."

"Don't you think it might've been helpful information if you had told me that the men that I was attempting to--and succeeded to--get in their pants were in a fucking relationship?!" I shouted. "Like, who does that? I feel horrible. I probably ruined their relationship. God, I'm the worst person in the world."

"Lance, stop that." Allura commanded. "Enough of you moping. I don't think you ruined anything. I think you guys just need to talk it out."

"Are you kidding me?!" I screeched. "'Llura. They just met me! What do we have to talk about? 'Hey sorry I banged your boyfriend. And also, thanks that was incredible.'?! I'm not a horrible person. Or at least, I wasn't--"

"Lance, you aren't a horrible person," Allura said.

"Well I really feel like one," I countered. I huffed and crossed my arms childishly because damnit! I don't want to deal with this kind of a situation. Lance McClain is several things, but a homewrecker I am not. I took pride in knowing that I would never ever encroach on someone's relationship.

But I just did.

I groaned into my hands. "This is literally the worst day ever."