My Drug Is You

Chapter 19

That made me go weak at the knees hearing him say that to me. He released me from his grip and he wandered off into the kitchen as I tried to regain my balance. I took a deep breath in and balanced myself on the back of the sofa. I felt something cold and rough press against the back of my thigh so I turned round to see that I was leaning on Brian's leather jacket. I grabbed hold of it and chucked it on the coat rack.

Something made a thud on the floor next to the coat rack. I looked down to the wooden floor to see a small package. I walked over to it and picked up to examine it further. Then, I realised what it was. My heart sunk as it was a bag of cocaine. I knew it was. He told me he was clean. I can't believe he would lie to me again. I felt heartbroken after everything I had given him, he still lied to me. I was an idiot to even forgive him in the first place.

I gripped the bag tight in my hand as I stormed into the dining room. He was just putting the food down on the table. He looked up at me with a smile on his face and I scoffed. I couldn't believe he had the nerve. I chucked the packet down on the table and I arched my eyebrow awaiting his response.

"Well are you going to tell me the truth or are you just going to sit there?" I questioned in a venomous tone.

"Sophie, I swear down its not what it looks like. I'm clean. I haven't touched drugs for three years," he rambled.

"Really? Then why is there a bag of cocaine in your pocket?" I asked again.

"Can't you see it hasn't been touched?" he questioned back hoping to avoid the question I asked.

"You didn't answer my question," I stated.

"Look, when I went to the store I ran into an old friend and he gave me it. He said that he missed the old me but I don't. I wouldn't do that to you," he pleaded.

"Why is it that I can only have five minutes of happiness? I'm sick to death of being screwed over, lied to and being hurt by everyone else. I just want to be happy for once in my life and you know I thought I found it in you but you're the same as everybody else. You've done nothing but lie to me and I have had it. I can't do this anymore," I sobbed.

His hands connected with my hips and pulled me against him. He sat down on a chair and pulled me with him. I sat down on his knees and curled up into him. I breathed in his scent which calmed me down and Brian held me tight knowing that's exactly what I needed right now, his loving arms wrapped around me was all I could ask for.

"You're right I have lied to you. I've lied about so many things. I guess I wanted you to like this version of me and not the old one. I didn't want you to know about him but my past kept creeping up on me. Earlier, I told you that I was just a few drugs it it wasn't. I was a junkie for the best part of two years. I did anything I could get my hands on. My preferred poison was cocaine. I made a lot of mistakes and my biggest is something that I can't bring myself to tell you just yet but I will one day. I turned my life around and made something of myself. Then, you came into my life even if you are my student I knew I had to have you and to hold you in my arms like this makes me feel complete. Please don't leave me. I don't know what l would do," he confessed.

"Is it a bit messed up that we don't even worry that were in a forbidden relationship anymore. We are both so messed up that it takes a back seat. Maybe that's why we can't have happiness because we don't deserve it," I said. "I don't care what your deepest mistake is and if in time you do tell me just know I won't run away from you,"

"Oh you will. It's the reason I have little friends and family around me. They all hate what I did so don't make promises you can't keep," he said.

"How did we end up like this?" I asked.

"I really don't know. I just wish that things could be different," he said.

"Me too," I agreed.

We sat in a comfortable silence both of us lost our appetite and shoved the food away from us. I didn't know what to say to him. I wanted to comfort him but I didn't know how to. I couldn't do anything and I was scared for him as I could see him fading away. Whatever he was thinking about was eating away at him. It was probably this secret that he didn't want to tell me. Im not going to lie, I am curious but I know it's best left in the past for now.

I went and sat down on the sofa. Brian joined me and pulled me close to him. "I am sorry about earlier. I just don't want to scare you away. I'm not used to caring about someone so much and I don't know how to do it properly," he admitted.

"You're doing a fine job," I laughed. "And I'm sorry too. I shouldn't have gone off like I did,"

He inched closer to me and pressed his lips down to mine. I felt that electricity pulse through me as our lips worked together. It wasn't heated, it was simple and carried so much love. He broke away from me and his chocolate brown orbs captured mine. "I love you Sophie Miller with all my heart and much more and I promise I'll never hurt you know matter what you think about me or my past," he said.

My heart swelled and I could feel a bubbly feeling take over my chest and I knew I could say it back. "I love you too Brian Haner and no matter what you tell me nothing can ever change that," I told him as I felt the grin spread across my face and I watched it grow on his.

He captured my lips again and kissed me with so much passion it made my toes curl. There was no denying it. I was in love with him and no matter how much we have been through it can't change that. He swooped me up in his arms and held me securely bridal style. I let out a laugh and snuggled into the crook of his neck.

He carried me upstairs and placed me on his bed. I couldn't understand what he was doing it was way to early to be going to bed so why would he bring me up here? He ran over to his side of the bed and open the draws that were placed there. He pulled something out but I couldn't see what it was. He hid it to well.

He rushed back over to me and sat on the edge of the bed. He pulled his hand forward and I could now see what laid there. It was a square black box. I looked at him confused and he let out a laugh. He opened the box to reveal a gorgeous silver ring with two diamonds in the middle. I gasped at its beauty but what did it mean?

"Don't worry it's not an engagement ring," he laughed. "it's a promise ring and it used to belong to my mother. She passed away when I was a young but she gave me this before it happened. She told me to save it for someone special. She told me to give it to the girl I love with all my heart and much more. She said that I would know when the time is right and I didnt understand her at first but now I do. I know that feeling she told me about because I feel it with you everyday. You're the one this ring was meant for and it's a promise that I will never hurt you again and I will always protect you. No matter what," he said.

I let out another gasp. I couldn't believe he wanted to give something so precious to me. "Are you sure?" I questioned out of disbelief.

"I've never been more sure in my life," he said and it made my heart swell again. He took the ring form the box and slid it down my finger. I couldn't believe it. I never thought I would get this lucky. "It's a perfect fit," he stated.

I laughed as he was right. It was like the ring was made for me. I brought my lips crashing onto his and kissed him with everything I had. In a twisted way we were perfect for each other no matter how messed up we were.