// ELSE WHERE //
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My birthday was in two days.
I could be excited because I'm gonna be an official adult, but I'm mostly terrified.
I painted on six canvases already. I needed to raise some money. I couldn't just mow lawns or wash cars for the old couple that lived next door to Sadie, I had to do something that I enjoyed. I worked extra hours at work, but I decided to sell my artwork. I left most of my best paints back home, but I luckily had some in my bag that I brought with me. I was still trying to find my artist style, but now a days I mostly painted abstract things, or my feelings. I turned up the radio as I dried my wet hair with a towel. Violent Femmes was playing, with their 2002 song, Blister in the Sun. I loved their music a lot. I danced in the mirror, holding my stomach. A pinching pain started just below my torso. I stopped dancing, bitting done on my lip in pain. I reached for the pills the doctor had given me to help with the pain. Even though they were useless and didn't even help, I took them anyways. I looked in the bathroom mirror at myself. My stomach was getting big, which made me start to worry even more. I had to pay for my operation soon. In some ways, I still felt bad and guilty about having an abortion. I used to read stories of women to had abortions, and were called sluts for killing their child. But the fetus can't feel anything. Right? Right.
Stop thinking to much Millie!
I continued to dry my wet hair, and got dressed within the minute. I heard footsteps stomping up the stairs. I bet it was Noah in one of his "moods" again. Sadie and I tease him saying that he's on his man period. I heard the door slowly creek open. I turned to see Finn and Gaten. That's a surprise, their never together. "Hey Mills." Gaten sat on my bed, while Finn winked at me, making me blush. Finn couldn't stop staring at me. "We need to talk to you." Gaten said, looking at Finn. Finn took my hand in his. "We, did some so called.. research, ha, I love saying that word-" "Gaten!" I interrupted him. "Oh! Right, sorry. So.. we did some research to help you raise some money, and." Before Gaten could finish his sentence, I run up to him, grasping his body in mine, giving his a huge hug. Once I pulled away, Finn grabbed my face and kissed me hard. I think we both forgot that Gaten was just standing there watching with his eyes big. Once we stopped, Finn wrapped his arms around me as we both faced Gaten. "Thank you guys." I say.
_
Today I went back to the hospital. The doctors needed to do one last check before my operation.
"Mills, are you sure you wanna do this right before your birthday?" Sadie asked. "Sadie, I'll be fine." I argued, unbuckling my seat belt. "Uh, not really." She said. "Wow thanks that makes me feel so much better about myself." I say sarcastically. "Millie," Sadie followed me out of the car. "If you haven't noticed, they are going to take a child out of your stomach and cut you open, so don't say that you're fine." She said, stopping me in my tracks. I looked into Sadie's eyes deeply, thinking about what she just said. "I know, I'm I'm sorry." I sighed. The red head wrapped her right arm around the back of my neck, as we walked inside.
4:45 pm.
Sadie held my hand on the side of the bed with a hug light above me, while I was surrounded my sharp things like you see at the dentist. I felt that I should be nervous, but for some reason I wasn't. The doctor looked at my ex rays as I watched him open them up on a big screen. "Okay." He said. He almost sounded disappointed. I looked up at him in wonder. He felt around in my stomach, listening for the heart beat and if I was healthy. "You're still in the very early stages Millie, but.." his face dropped. My heart stopped. I frowned at him. "What's wrong?" I ask, my voice was raspy. The doctor didn't say anything. He left the room, calling in a bunch of other nurses and talking to them outside of the room. Sadie looked concerned. She squeezed my sweaty hand. My vision started to blur as the doctor came back. "Miss Brown," He got my attention. "I'm.. sorry to have to tell you, but." The doctor looked at Sadie, and back at me. "I'm afraid, we've lost the child." He looked at me with sad eyes. Sadie stared at the ex rays. "I'm afraid it was a still birth. I'm so sorry." The doctor stood up, walking out of the room, taking his glasses off.
My heart stopped. I swear it did. Only for a second or two, but I couldn't move or speak.
"W-What..?" I mumbled. Sadie pulled me in for a warm hug. I just lay there, my eyes puddling with tears, but none escaping.
Most of it was a blur after that. I didn't talk to anyone. Sadie helped me down the hallway of the hospital, as I had stained tears on my cheeks. I saw a familiar body shapes running down the hallway in front of us. It was Finn, Noah, and Gaten. "Jesus fuck! Millie! What did they do to her?" Finn raised his voice, making me shut my eyes. "Finn," Sadie breathed. "Can you take her back to your place." Sadie was out of breath. "Wha-" "just.. do it. Please. She needs to sleep." Finn picked me up in his arms, as Noah helped him. My head lay on his upper arm as I looked up at him. "It's okay Mills, we've got you." I heard Noah say. I then blacked out from lack of water, and didn't wake up until the next morning.
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Oof.
