✖He's Not Mine [An Utterly Ridiculous Dramione Baby Story . . . Sort-of]

NINE

BABIES BRING PEOPLE CLOSER

Ron was sitting with Hermione and Harry in the library. Hermione wanted to study her Ancient Runes, and both Harry and Ron wanted to revise Potions.

Needless to say, they were surprised to see Blaise Zabini of all people rush to the doorway, grinning madly and brandishing his wand. "WEASLEY!! CATCH!"

Reflexively, Ron caught the wand thrown at him. "What am I --"

"Just listen to it!" Then he took off down the hallway with a wide grin. "YOU'LL NEVER CATCH ME!"

"What in Merlin's . . ."

A blur flew past the doorway. "GET YOUR ARSE BACK HERE, ZABINI!! I SWEAR TO MERLIN, I WILL END YOU!"

"Who was that?" Hermione asked.

"I think that was Malfoy," Harry said.

The three of them stared at the wand Ron held. "What am I supposed to do with this?"

"Well, he said listen to it," Hermione murmured. "So if my guess is correct . . ."

She pulled out her own wand and pointed at the one Ron held. They heard a familiar voice soon enough.

"Yeah, that. Whatever. Weaselbutt's godfather. Have fun."

Blaise suddenly barreled into the library, followed closely by Draco, much to the displeasure of Madame Pince.

"WHERE THE HELL IS YOUR WAND, ZABINI?!"

"I don't have it!" Blaise laughed.

Draco suddenly leapt forward and caught Blaise by the ankles, dropping the other boy to the ground. He wasted no time in attacking Blaise, searching him for his wand. Blaise only laughed as he tried to get away.

"Where is it?!"

"Uh, Malfoy?" Harry asked.

Draco snapped his gaze to Harry. "What?"

"Are you looking for this wand?" He held up the wand Blaise had thrown at Ron.

"Give me that!" Draco snapped, stumbling away from Blaise and snatching the wand from Harry.

"It's too late, mate," Blaise said, breathing heavily from his sprint around the castle. "He's already heard it."

Draco glared at the boy on the floor. "You and Pansy are going to drive me insane," he spat.

Ron turned to Hermione. "Well, I for one, am honoured to be your baby's godfather," he said loudly and with a cheeky grin.

Draco and Hermione wore twin looks of mortification. Blaise was too tired to laugh, but he grinned madly. Harry was ready to start laughing.

"Professor Snape would've died before he let this happen," Ron said.

"Well," Harry said, "technically, Professor Snape is dead. You've just become godfather to Tobias Malfoy."

Ron shrugged. "You know that does sound better than saying I'm Severus Snape's godfather."

"I cannot believe the two of you are discussing this," Hermione said.

"Well, Granger," Blaise said from his place on the floor, "he did just find out he's godfather to the son of his mortal enemy and best friend-slash-ex-girlfriend."

"He's not my son!" Hermione and Draco yelled.

"Well, he'd beg to differ," Harry squeaked, barely managing to contain his laughter.