crash. | lil peep |

2

lilpeep: wassah seattle, and as for her: ill see you soon ;) 💘
68,346 Likes 24,786 Comments
User12: baby boyyyy 🔥
Gothboi24: wait who is her?????
therealfatnick: oooo baby boy i can't wait ;))
User234: ^^^ @gothboi24 that answers your question
katherineM: oh... my... god.
Load More Comments....

(☹)

"CAN YOU PLEASE TELL ME WHAT EXACTLY HAPPENED LAST NIGHT?" Katherine screamed, following me to her bathroom as soon as I entered her apartment. I smiled, and laughed at her intensity but I didn't say a word. I turned into the bathroom, and shut the door on her and locked it: but she kept going.
"FIRST, I SEE PEEP HIMSELF WRAP HIS HOT ASS ARM AROUND YOU AND YOU GO INTO THE FUCKING GREEN ROOM. AND THEN YOU SEND ME A TEXT SAYING YOULL UBER HERE WHILE NILE AND I JUST WENT TO GO GET NACHOS. Which by the way, Nile is very cute and funny and kind. BUT ANYWAY, THEN PEEP POSTS SOMETHING VERY MYSTERIOUS INVOLVING A GIRL."
At that point, I zoned out what she was saying by turning on the shower. I undressed, and immediately grabbed my phone and searched through Instagram to his account where I saw his recent post. Wow. The boy sure knew how to lay it on thick. I smiled, and switched over to my camera. Maybe I'd leave him a lil surprise while he was in Seattle.

Me: 1 Image

Me: See you soon ;)

my one & only 🐣💘:
dont make me take the next flight back.

Me: don't tempt me.

I smiled at his messages, and put my phone down onto the counter before stepping into the shower. Moments like these, filled with smiles and butterflies and mystery is what makes me hopeful that my end wouldn't come. That I wouldn't find myself in eternal black on a ledge. But I can't stop what was meant to be, and in reality: this was a hookup with Gus. Flirtation. Nothing more. I spent about 40 more minutes in the shower, scrubbing my roots and my body. I stepped out, and spotted a heart shaped hickey above my breast. Somehow, my smile got wider.
    Later on, Katherine and I sat on her couch in our underwear eating sliced watermelon while I updated her on the events that took place last night.
    "Did he have a big dick?" Katherine asked, eyes wide with wonder.
     I grinned, and shrugged. "It depends on what you consider big."
    "Girl, I'm talking 6+ inches."
     "Then yes. It's big."
Katherine laughed, and popped a piece of watermelon in her mouth before she spoke. "Well good for you, I kind of forgot you weren't a virgin."
   "Yes," I responded sarcastically. "Because Brad from freshman year was super memorable."
    "I mean," Katherine responded. "At least you fucked him before he dyed his hair."
     We both laughed at that and continued to talk about everything girls talk about. Like if you had to start being a cannibal, where would you start first? (My answer was a finger because I'd want to start somewhere small. Katherine's was an organ because she'd want to get the worst out of the way.) And of course discussed the thing with Nile, and how he gave her his jacket and did cheesy shit all night that made her face turn pink when she talked about it. My phone vibrated on my thigh, and I looked to find a message from Gus.

  my one & only 🐣💘:
        i miss u , cum thru to seattle boo

me:
im broke and got shit to do

my one & only 🐣💘:
you can do me

                                                         me: you're gonna have to come get me then. bye bye Gus.

   Little did I know that Gus was going to follow my words a few days later, when I heard a knock on my apartment door. I assumed it was Katherine showing up unannounced, per usual. But when I opened the door, I saw the smiling face of Gus. I gasped for a moment, and I couldn't help but grab him by the collar of his shirt and pull me to him. We locked lips instantly, and his hand reached up around my neck and squeezed gently. Jesus Christ. I pulled back after a minute or two, looking at him.
"Where did you get my address?" I asked.
Gus shrugged, before he went and sat himself down on my couch. I cocked an eyebrow before turning and shutting the door, clicking the lock in the matter of seconds. It was weird, how he popped up out of no where. No security either. I turned to Gus, and he was looking at me with an almost blank faced stare. It seemed as though he was zoned out before he suddenly snapped out of his daze and asked me where the bathroom was. I pointed it out to him, and waited for him to come out. When he did , he sat down next to me and spoke.
     "You do realize this has nothing to do with emotion, right?" Gus asked, staring straight forward. I flicked my gaze towards him briefly before returning it to the window I was looking at before.
"Of course," I scoffed. "Why would it?" I don't know why my chest ached for a moment, I convinced myself of the same thing at Katherine's house.
"I just didn't want you getting your hopes up," he responded.
"About what?"
"About the possibility I could fall in love with you."
At that I turned to him. All humor was gone from me when I spoke. "Gus, I'm going to tell you something. I'm going to die, soon. I don't know how or when, but I know it'll be soon. I'll be jumping off the ledge into black in a matter of days. I don't have time to fall in love."
Gus looked surprised at my response, before he quickly sobered up. "So are you telling me you're going to kill your self?"
"No," I answered. "That's not what I'm saying."
I told him about the nightmare, and my conclusion of my death. He sat there, tugging at his jeans with his red nails. I couldn't read his expression.
"Sex and drugs are temporary things. Love is forever, and I can't even have a long time, let alone forever." I told him this while playing with his ring that I put on my ring finger. I tied a string around the band so it could actually fit me.
"Do you just want to fuck?" He asked me, finally turning to me.
I nodded. "Yes please."
And so we did. Multiple times, actually until his phone rang and Tracy's voice could be heard when he answered. The prospect of drugs and sex. He pushed himself off my bed, and dressed himself.
"Gus..." I whispered. I wanted to tell him thank you, for understanding. But I felt as though he didn't understand completely.
"Yes?" Gus asked, running his fingers through his blonde hair after pulling on his shirt.
"Wear a condom."
"Will do."

(☹)
  author's note:
     this chapter wasn't as long as the last, my apologies! i hope you guys like it so far! ill update soon with a longer chapter and more interesting events. please, offer feedback, vote, and share! thank you 💘

rest easy hellboy ❤️