The Princess of Terrasen

Ch. 25

Aiyra hadn't come out of her room for a week since the incident. As soon as she offered to be carranam, her magic sang. And the rest of her screamed in fury. Not a month since her mate's death and she was making someone her carranam. 

She didn't even know him. 

He must've been mad to even think of letting her get close to him. The people close to her just died anyways. She had killed the people closest to her herself. Deanna had not been responsible for that. That had been her. Solely her. No one else was responsible. 

She didn't really remember doing much for the past week but lying in bed, Aecis a grounding weight as he lay on her legs, Salkhi a source of warmth as he draped himself over her torso. 

Aecis had tried getting her out of bed, but stopped once she snarled at him half heartedly. Then he tried ripping Nova's arm off when she pulled Aiyra up and out of the bed. Aiyra hadn't stopped him, just watched from under half shut eyes and Nova scrambled out, tripping over the bedposts. Then there was the constant throwing up. Salkhi had carried over a pot because she refused to get out of bed. She was feeling bloated, and tired and she just wanted to fade away. 

But immortality was her curse. She could at least hurt herself. She pulled her dagger out from under the pillow, staring at it, wondering, where would it hurt most? Where could she put it so it made her scream, made her feel the pain Sebastian did? Between the ribs into the heart perhaps. Or maybe through her ankles, where a spear had once gone through his so it would scar and she would remember yet another way she had failed him, that day with Kallon. Gods that life seemed a lifetime ago. 

She flipped it in her hands once, waited till Aecis got up to stretch and brought it down. Salkhi reared, the blade bouncing harmlessly off his black scales. She snarled as he pushed it off the bed. He snarled right back. There's a low laugh to her right, and she slowly turns her head, squinting into the shadows. Icy eyes gleamed, crinkled at the corners as he smiled. 

Sebastian.

It wasn't the smile she remembered, warm and wide and slow, no. It was sharp and vicious and made a part of her cower. He held a book in his hands and his voice was mocking as he read from it.

Once upon a time there had been a princess, a child born to the most powerful magic wielders in the world. She was young and gods-blessed, her own power a tale whispered over campfires, her kingdom adored her. 

Then one day that princess was taken. No, not taken. Stolen, a means to an end, an act of revenge against her mother. She was locked in the dark, so her skin became pale, her gold hair muted, faded to silver, a colour that needed light to shine. The light that never came. Until a goddess masquerading as a queen opened her cell, sat on her throne and asked for a blood oath. The princess gave it easily. 

She became the general of the Queen's armies. She was powerful, but no longer beloved. She was feared, a monster in Fae skin. Her turquoise Ashryver eyes became an unholy silver. Death, they called her. She was death incarnate. They said she was a goddess. Some said she was their saviour. Others said she would raze the world to nothing but a bit of ash amongst the stars. Now, sitting in a grand castle in a feverish daze, the princess- turned- general- turned- princess supposed they were right. The general found her mate, she bought them stolen time. And when that time ran out, she broke. The shield that held her at bay was gone,  and she broke so violently she razed a continent back under the sea. Centuries worth of work, of power, all destroyed by a single unleashing. 

She killed the goddess, she came back home, no longer beloved but not feared either, she became a broken edge, too sharp, too unpredictable, she exists, she does not live and she does not care. 

She did not find a happily ever after, she never will. Because despite all that power and the cunning and rage and magic, she was still a failure, still a princess hiding behind her mother's fiery temper and father's steady hands.  

She cut him off with a choked plea, with words she couldn't understand herself. His eyes darkened.

"You hurt me Aella." he said, face empty of all emotion. 

"I'm sorry-"

"Shut up. You don't get to speak here. I was your mate, and you were supposed to protect me, like I was supposed to protect you. One of us failed miserably."

She sobbed into her hands. 

"Aiyra?" someone swore viciously. 

Sebastian looked up towards the door, smirking.

"Go join the land of the living, now. Live with the weight of your failure for the rest of your hideous immortal existence." he waved a hand toward the door, there was a swirling darkness and he was gone. 

The book clattered to the floor. 

Something thawed the ice building in her veins, warm sunshine melting it all. She opened her eyes blearily and met Cerin's worried turquoise eyes. It was his magic. Flowing through her body, keeping her from thinking about what had just happened. If it had happened at all. 

"You're burning up. We need to get you to a healer." he said softly, as if sensing the pounding in her head. 

When she didn't move, he carefully slipped his arms under her, picking her up and she curled into his warmth, pressing her forehead into the crook of his neck. 

"You're a damn idiot, you know that Aiyra?" he said, but there was no bite to it. 

"Yeah," she murmured, eyes too heavy to keep open and she let them close, lulled to sleep by the rhythmic rocking of his footsteps.