Hard to Find

Chapter Twelve - One Step at a Time

Soon enough, Saturday rolls around and I'm walking into Marlee's house. I shake off my snow decorated hair and gape at the interior, it always looks beautiful at night. 

"Hey," Marlee takes my coat from me and whispers, "He's in the living room."

My skin burns with the awareness that he is just a room over. I hate that I'm so nervous. Our last conversation, which was a while ago, ended rather well, but a lot was left unsaid.  I have a feeling that we will walk on eggshells around each other until we figure out what we are.

But for now, at least we have a fresh start.

"He looks handsome," she mutters as we enter the room.

Mine and Jayden's eyes instantly lock and his dimples appear. Yes, he looks handsome; I say to myself and pray my face isn't turning red. He is sporting a beard again, which causes an ebullient feeling inside me. I like his beard.

Dylan says hello, embracing me. He's in on tonight's plan. It shouldn't embarrass me, but it does. After we have a brief conversation, he winks at me and nods his head in Jayden's direction.

The doorbell rings at the perfect time. "That must be Raven and Wyatt, I'll get it." Marlee says and Dylan goes with her, leaving Jayden and I alone, separated by the kitchen island.

"Hey Killer, nice to see you." His voice is smooth.

"Blondie, it's nice to see you too." I reply, gripping the counter for support. His long sleeve v-neck shirt clings to him in all the right places, making my mouth go lax. His hair is a perfect mess, like the first night I met him.

"How are you?"

"I'm good, how are you?"

"I'm good too."

Our small talk seems meaningless when there is so much we yearn to say.. But Marlee's house isn't the right place to say what is on our minds, especially with such little privacy, so we stay silent.

His hand inches closer to mine. Close enough that he could reach out and hold it, but he doesn't. I thought this dinner would be a good idea. Now I'm slowly regretting my decision. This will be torture.

Raven's voice breaks our staring contest, and I turn toward her for a hug. When she lets go, she turns to Jayden, a hand extended and says  "Hi I'm Raven, nice to formally meet you."

"Jayden, nice to meet you too." They shake hands. "We met at the bar, right?"

"Yes we did, briefly." Her face is serious, but I see her smirk looming beneath. She better not act ridiculous. If Marlee, who is a blabbermouth, can keep it together, so can she.

Marlee guides us all into the dining room. Before we take our seats—mine across from Jayden like last time—we help carry in the food.

We enjoy our meal, especially Raven, who boasts over Marlee's cooking. The conversation slowly turns to the evolution of Marlee's culinary skills as I explain that they have not always been up-to-par like they are now. She almost burned our house down, multiple times, before she gained the skills she has today. Albeit, she protests my stories, saying I'm remembering incorrectly.

"That's one thing I miss about living with you," I say. "Home-cooked meals." 

Marlee gapes at me, offended. "You miss me too."

"Have you guys always lived in New York?" Jayden asks out of nowhere, catching our attention. I answer first because I don't know what will come out of Marlee's mouth.

"We've been here for nine years. I was fifteen."

Dylan smiles and grabs my sister's hand. "I never would've met your sister if you guys hadn't." As much as I want to cringe, I smile. I'm happy for Marlee. All she ever wanted was a family of her own. Raising me was hard enough, but that was my doing. I could've been a better sister.