Metanoia

"A Chance To Start Over"

Merlin

He didn't speak. He didn't want to let words tumble from his mouth so casually after what happened. I allowed him. My mind realized that if this is how everything gets exposed, then it has to commence in such a way.
"What was the bandit talking of, Merlin." Arthur's voice was strained—distant.
I decided for the calm approach. "Your kingdom," I answered simply.
"Yes," Arthur replied angrily, gritting his teeth. "Of how it's in ashes? Explain that to me."
His footsteps wavered, as I then turned, meeting his glare. My toes clenched inside my shoes, feeling the leather for aid and reassurance in my current situation.
"Tell me, Merlin."
My lips quivered. "I didn't want you to find out this way."
"What happened." He was keen on seeking an answer.
"While you were gone, Camelot starting attacking other kingdoms ruthlessly." My eyes glazed over from remembering the memory. I had wanted to keep it short; in hopes that Arthur would find the cause understanding. But maybe he wouldn't forgive me. "We had no choice but to attack." I braved a chance to look at his eyes, which were surprised and filled with grief.
"They attacked your kingdom?"
I solemnly nodded.
Arthur scoffed, now deciding to pace the forest floor, bringing a hand to his chin to stroke it deliberately. "It was because your kingdom had magic?"
My ears twitched. That was part of the reason. My voice fell to a loud mumble. "It was because I let you die."
Arthur snapped his head to face me, a bewildered expression plastered onto his face. "Merlin..."
I didn't listen. My hands were now wildly gripping the air, an irritated sigh escaping from my mouth.
I was frustrated.
And crying.
"Arthur; I couldn't just stand aside and let Uther kill my people! I know it was my fault, but my people shouldn't take the consequences that belong to me!" I rambled on, ridiculous accusations escaping my lips as if all of this was mine to blame. And it was.
"Merlin..."
"I let you die, Arthur."
"Merlin-"
"I thought I was going to be the one who would fall! But my assumptions always have to be wrong-"
He then suddenly cut me off with his lips. They were chapped and urging for more. The action made my mind tick, as if the gears suddenly clicked into place.
The kiss was exhilarating. I felt soft lips come in contact with mine, the sweetness offered like butter on toast. My arms slowly slid to find Arthur's chest, as I gently placed them where his heartbeat was strong. Arthur replied to my gesture by swiftly pulling me closer to him—our bodies now touching. Warmth seeped through my entire body. I've never felt something so fierce yet gentle. That's how Arthur was guiding me.
I pulled away as he took a collected breath.
"Arth-Arthur I can't." My tone was unsteady from the sudden predicament. Arthur's posture was tense; and with the gravity of the situation, his expression was uncanny.
"But..." I felt myself flush as I weakly grabbed on to one of Arthur's hands. His knuckles were worn, callouses layered in different areas. My mind felt fond of it. "We can start over," I continued. My eyes reached up to meet his. "Not as lovers. Not as friends. Not as enemies..." Biting my lip, I scanned his face with a longing I couldn't recall the source to. "Just as an acquaintance."
"It would be nice... to forget everything." Arthur turned to face me. "Right? Just have a blank slate. A chance to start over and change fate."
I gazed at Arthur. "A chance to start over."

Arthur

I should've seen it coming. My feelings were consuming my mind, leaving the rest of my body in a haze that I couldn't wake from. Merlin's lips were soft. Gentle. Internally sighing when he pulled away, I stared at him with a longing look.
I missed him terribly.
When he spoke of starting over, I felt a rush of relief flood my system. But I felt sorrow too. Starting over means pushing down my feelings. Even if the motions were booming in my mind for acceptance. My body overcame with lust and happiness when seeing his face. Just the sight of Merlin's silhouette gave me shivers. I exhaled a breath. I would give it time.
But one thing was clear in my mind.
I was going to win him back.

A/N: Hello everybody! Sorry that this update is a little shorter than usual! I'm planning to attend a camp soon, which will shorten my time with writing. Anyway! If y'all enjoyed this chapter, please leave a vote or comment! Thanks! Bye!