Almost Lover (Harry Styles) - Book 1

Chapter 17: A Confession and A Wager

I quickly pull my hands out from under his and drop them on my lap.

"Can you just please talk to me?" He says quietly, making my heart break. I have to end this now.

"Talk to you? I'm already all talked out from discussing this with Louis. It's pathetic, you sending him in here." I spit at him.

His lips form a tight line. "Don't do that Ava. It won't work."

"I'm not trying to do anything. I'm just being honest." I shrug my shoulders.

"No, you're not. I know what you're trying to do. You think insulting me will push me away. You're wrong."

I run my hand through my hair and feel a single tear roll down my cheek. Now I've cried three times because of him. Looking around, I'm thankful the diner is empty.

He leans forward to brush the tear off my cheek but I stop his hand and push it away from my face.

"Ava, what happened to you? Tell me please." He begs, "Let me help you."

I shake my head, feeling more tears fall. "You can't."

"Ava, please. Why do you keep everything bottled up?"

His voice is so soft I can't help but want to answer him.

"I'm ashamed." I whisper, glancing up at him.

His eyes widen, surprised I actually answered him I'm sure.

He leans forward into the table, lowering his voice, "Why?"

"Cause I deserved it."

"Deserved what?"

I place my elbows on the table and drop my face into my hands.

He slowly pulls my hands away from my face. "Ava."

I take a deep breathe before looking into his eyes.

"The last relationship I was in, we were together for a very long time. I was so in love with him... But I did so many stupid things."

"What do you mean?" He asks, holding my hands in his own.

"I wasn't good enough, I didn't try hard enough. It was my fault that he..."

We fall into silence, I can't finish that sentence.

Harry's voice is strained when he finally speaks. "Ava, did he hurt you?"

I look away, not being able to hold his gaze longer.

"You think you deserved that?" His chokes out, tightening his grip on my hands.

"Yes." I blankly answer him, wiping the tears off my cheeks. My sadness has turned to anger. Anger at myself.

"Why? Why would you ever think that Ava?"

"Because that's what I was told Harry."

"He told you that didn't he?" The softness leaves Harry's voice, "Ava.. you can't believe him."

"No." I answer him sternly pulling my hands out of his. "Everyone told me that."

I can't take this anymore. I get up from the table, and turn to leave, but Harry grabs my arm.

"Ava stop please. Let me help... let me take care of you." His eyes are pleading me, so I look away.

"I don't need anyone to take care of me, I can take care of myself."

"No you can't." He tries to pull me into his arms, but I push him away.

"Ava stop I ne-" I quickly cut Harry off. I'm done with talking about this.

"No Harry, you stop! I don't want your help and I don't want a relationship with you. We can be friends or we can be nothing, you choose."

His hands fall down to his sides in defeat, silence engulfing us before he shakes his head at me, "I can't loose you as a friend Ava."

"I don't want to loose you as a friend either Harry. I do care about you."

"That's only a part of it isn't it?" He sighs, "Breaks my heart that you won't tell me everything Ava."

"Ive already told you more than anyone else. Now please don't bring this up again, I don't want to ever talk about it. Please."

He stares into my eyes, trying to pull all my secrets out of me. It scares me that a small part of me actually wants him to.

"Ava I..." He stops himself mid sentence, and once again there's silence between us.

I can't take the way he's staring into my eyes a second more. "I need to go."

"No, stay with me."

"Harry..."

"Friends right? So stay with me and let's do something together." He gives me a small grin, knowing it will win me over.

"Okay." I sigh, already exhausted from this so called day off. "What do you want to do?"

"Mini golf?"

"What?" Did he just ask me that, after all the drama we just went thru?

"Do you want to go play mini golf?"

"What?"

"Come on Ava... we both need a good laugh I think. And you trying to beat me at mini golf would be just that."

I roll my eyes at him and can't help but smile back at his dimpled grin. How he can make me smile after how horrible I felt less than five minutes ago is beyond me.

"You're on. But I'm so beating your ass."

He laughs as we walk outside the diner, "I think... This calls for a wager."

"Okay Styles, name your terms."

He throws his arm over my shoulders as he thinks out loud, contemplating what he wants if he wins.

If he only knew he has already won. I just won't let myself give him the prize, my heart.

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