Lams Oneshots^^

An Attempt

"Then.. what?" he prompts, almost sounding scared.

"Then you could finally be happy.. I just want you to be happy.." His mouth falls open and fresh tears brim his eyes, falling slowly. It takes all of my will power not to look away from him.

"You.. You thought I would be happier without you?" I nod affirmatively, regretting my words. "Alexander, you're a fucking idiot," he chokes out around a sob. His grip on my hands is almost painful but I don't care, all I want is to feel his warm skin against mine, to feel his heartbeat and the intonation of his voice, so real and alive. Selfish asshole. Shut up. I sigh, trying to avoid an argument against myself. John doesn't even attempt to compose himself before continuing, he works around the tears.

"I love you so God damn much Alex, I'll do anything to prove it to you. If I didn't have you I would die, and I'm serious, I would. I can't do this without you. There's no way I could be happy without you, you are my happiness. You're my everything, my world, my will to live, my reason to get up in the morning and keep going. I have no point in this life if I can't help you, don't you understand that? And you have given me so much, you flipped my life from the hell that it was. You give me everything just by existing, by standing next to me everyday. That's what my happiness is. My happiness is waking up every morning to kiss you, coming home to your dinner and snuggling with you all night, talking with you until we realize we stayed up until dawn by accident. Hell, even just being in the same room as you makes me the happiest person on this earth.

I don't care if I don't go to heaven, I don't care if this makes me a sinner. I don't fucking need heaven if I have you, you are my heaven. Please, please understand that," I wait a second to make sure he's done, wait until he dips his chin to rest it against my fingertips and closes his eyes. Then I wrench my hands free of his grasp and throw them onto his neck to pull him towards me, my lips colliding with his. We both almost fall over, but he rights us as he wraps his arms firmly around my waist. Our hot tears mix, eyelashes fluttering against each other. My heart is pounding so hard it hurts, I love him so much it hurts, our kiss is so forceful it hurts. Everything hurts, but for once it feels so perfect. I pull away and he coughs up one more sob.

"Never leave me, I'm begging you," he mumbles. I shake my head, pulling him as close to me as possible, feeling his heart and soul melt into mine.

"You don't have to beg, I'm always going to be by your side." He chuckles sadly and lightly rubs his nose against mine.

"I love you," he whispers, just loud enough for us to hear even though nobody else is around. "I love you, I love you, I love you. I'll say it a million times. Can I say it a million times?"

I smile, a genuine one for the first time in awhile, "I'm not stopping you. I'll enjoy returning the favor." He smiles too, and I feel a chill of happiness run through me. I gasp suddenly, realizing how close I was. "Thank you for saving me," I say. "I-I'm so glad I didn't.." I don't finish the phrase, and John just nods.

He wipes the tears from my cheeks, a loving smirk on his face, "I'll be your hero any day, darling." I sigh at his touch and close my eyes, but they fly back open when another male voice speaks from behind John.

"I-uh, sorry to interrupt this boys but.. You, I kind of need to get you home. Do you think you can drive?" The man in a cop uniform is talking to me, but I just kind of stare blankly back at him. I hadn't even realized there were police officers here. John saves me, again.

"I'll take him home."

"Okay, I'll send a deputy out to follow you and take his truck back, he should be out in just a few minutes."

I interrupt quickly, "Sir, I'm okay to drive I-" John squeezes my hand though, and I take the signal to keep my mouth shut.

"He's coming with me," he reitterates, and the officer nods, walking away. I pick up John's hand and play with his fingers, rubbing my thumb along them and studying them absent-mindedly.

"Why did you say that? I can drive alright."

His hand joins in with mine, forming a pattern neither of us recognize but we both seem to follow easily. "After coming so close to losing you, I'm taking every millisecond I can with you. With the love of my life," he murmurs. I chuckle lightly.

"Okay. You can take every single second you want, for the rest of my life, I don't mind." He grins and stands, pulling me up.

"I might just," he replies. Before we start off, he throws his arm around my shoulder, pulling me close into his side. He's so warm and comforting, I'm completely at peace.

We walk back to his car together like that, and half way there his other hand slips behind his back, finding mine and grasping it tightly. I can't resist a smile. I feel so perfect and whole, utterly in love. Who could ask for more?

A/N: Yeah, this isn't really how it works out in real life. But as this is a story, I can do what I want, and happy endings are nice