Lams Oneshots^^

An Attempt

Please don't be upset or angry.

I always love you.

I'll see you again, my dearest.

My heart flies into my throat, threatening to jump out, and I choke on my breath. I can't seem to force myself to inhale, I lean forward against the counter and gasp for air. I'm shaking so much I can hardly manage to blow out the flame but I finally do, enveloping myself in darkness. I grab my keys from their hook and crumple the paper, shoving it into the pocket of my pajama pants. I stumble through the dark house and out into the glow of the streetlights, where I throw myself into my car. His truck is gone, of course it is.

There's only one place I can think of that he would go, and if he isn't there I don't know what I'm going to do. I grip the steering wheel tightly as I fly out of the neighborhood, forcing myself to go only a little over the speed limit. Don't think like that, he'll be there, you'll be there in time, I chastise myself. But a little voice in the corner of my brain argues. Will you? Will you really? I fight back tears, not caring anymore about the wavering needle on my dashboard as it climbs up and up and up. At least, I don't until I see a cop car pull out behind me, it's sirens wailing. I'm tempted to push on, but it's right behind me. In the middle of the empty road, I come to a screeching stop and wait impatiently as the cop throws his door open and runs up to me.

"Do you have any idea how high above the speed limit you were going sir?" He asks threateningly. I let the tears in my eyes spill over, I can't hold them back anymore.

"Please, sir, my boyfriend is trying to kill himself. Please let me go, I have to save him," I don't really know what I'm saying, I'm so desperate, but whatever it is it works. His face softens, then turns grim and he nods.

"Right. Where are you headed?" I take a gasping breath to reply with.

"The bridge."

"Follow me." He runs to his car and jumps back in. The sirens stay on as he pulls forward and passes me. I follow, and he pushes far above the speed limit, me hot on his tail. We make it there pretty quickly, though in my state I have no idea exactly how long it took. My heart seems to drop into my stomach when I see Alex's truck parked near the trees. The bridge looms over me, terrifying through my watery veil of tears. I leave my keys in the ignition and wrestle the door open. I can't be too late, I can't be, I can't. The officer has a head start on me, but I pass him and stop at the edge of the bridge, my eyes searching for the familiar figure. Fuck, what will I do if I never see that figure again?

But I do. I do. And he's so far, but I have to get there, I have to make him hear me.

Alex's pov -

A lone tear slips down my cheek as I stare down at the water below. It slips off into the horizon, as far as the eye can see, immeasurably deep. Perfect. The waves are almost relaxing, they almost make this easier. My hands have a tight grip on the bars next to me, I'm sitting on the edge with my feet dangling over. All I have to do.. All I have to do is push forward just and inch, and let go. And then it's all over. I'm not a burden anymore, and the pain is gone. I can't help but chuckle at myself. What happened? I used to be terrified of drowning, and now what am I doing? I let my grip on the cold metal loosen slightly. I stare out at the moon and the stars, they remind me of the constellations of freckles splattered across John's face. My heart wrenches at the prospect of leaving him, but it's okay. He'll live a better life with me gone, and we will meet again one day, I'm sure of it. I close my eyes, letting images play through my mind like a movie, all of him. Slowly, my grip eases. I'm ready. Any second now. I'm just centimeters from the edge as one of my hands falls free from the bar.

More tears slip down my face, how will John feel when he hears? I stop dead in my tracks at that idea. Images of him crying flash across my eyes, but I shake my head free of them. He wouldn't. He would be happy to be rid of me, just an annoying load on his back. I can almost hear him as if he were right here, though, proving me otherwise.