Perfect Fate ✔

24. Perfection

"I don't know what to do with him. I mean, every time I do anything I find myself thinking first what Dean is going to say and how Dean is going to react. I didn't want to admit it at first, but I'm scared of him. I'm scared of what he thinks, and I hate that feeling. He wants someone else, not me. He wants someone perfect. Someone trained enough to listen to whatever he says and does exactly so. Someone who never does anything wrong." I shook my head.

"That's not me, okay? I do stupid things and I make wrong decisions, but I'm fine with myself that way. If he's not then he should just leave.. I mean, in this case, I'm the one who has to leave here. That's why I called you, to help me find a place that's good enough for him to like because I swear I can't take another fight. I'm fed up with all the fighting and shouting and of the way I'm trying to make him approve of me. That's actually the fight I'm truly done with. I'm not going to fight for getting his approval of me anymore. I don't have to and I definitely don't want to."

"You don't need his approval, Emma." Jake shook his head.

"Damn right, I don't." I agreed.

"No, not that. I mean, you don't need it. You already have it, and he doesn't want perfection, he wants you. I know that pretty damn well." Jake glanced at me then back at the road.

"No, Jake. He doesn't want me for me; he wants the idea of me but with different characteristics, different ways of thinking, of behaving. Different decisions, and a different personality altogether. That's not me. I'm not what he's looking for." I shook my head.

"He's not looking for anything, Emma. And I'm more than sure that he wasn't looking the night you met." He let out a sarcastic laugh.

"You came out of nowhere, and since he first laid eyes on you--" Jake continued but I interrupted him.

"He disapproved of me. We fought." I waved my hands.

"--you became his without even knowing it." He smiled at me and stopped the car. My stomach knotted at the though.

I became his. I love that! Am I his? I really want to be. I want to be his so much. And he did say that he wants me to be his too. But he didn't ask me yet. God, I so want him to ask. I mean, he's not perfect, I know that, but neither am I.  He's driving me insane.

I let out a deep breath.

"Why did you stop the car?" I frowned.

"You know this will get him mad. He wants to find you the place himself." Jake explained.

"And you know that right now I don't really care what he wants." I crossed my arms.

"Emma, don't be stubborn. Pick up your cellphone. He hates it when you don't pick up on him." Jake tried once more.

"Fine! I will but only because I know that he hates it. I don't want to pick up but I don't want to do something he hates either." I pouted.

"He's driving you insane, isn't he?" Jake chuckled.

"More than you think." I picked up the cell phone and placed it on my ear.

"Yes?" I asked.

"Emma, where the fu--" he took a deep breath and let it out.

"Where are you?" He asked, trying to remain calm.

"I'm with Jake." I replied.

"Are you okay?" He asked. I couldn't miss the worried tone in his words. I knew he must have been worried. After I was done crying I found him asleep on the couch and as much as I wanted to have him gather me in his arms, I only covered him with a blanket then went to the bedroom. Three hours later, I asked Jake to come pick me up while Dean was still asleep, because I had absolutely no energy to deal with him. I cried my eyes out and didn't get much sleep, I was pretty worn out.