One Last Chance: A Nymphadora Tonks and Remus Lupin Love Story

XIII

Wrote this while listening to "First Burn" a Hamildrop written by Lin Manuel Miranda. Also while messily sobbing.

It had been so long since Sirius's death, but to Tonks, it only felt like a day ago. She saw Remus smile or at least find comfort in her embrace. And that was all she needed to do.

But Remus refused to stop plunging in missions for Dumbledore. He refused to listen to her words and warnings. Tonks clutched her shirt as she watched Remus volunteer for a dangerous mission. One that forced him to live among werewolves.

His wavy sandy brown hair. Amber eyes. Pained smile. Thin figure. She'd fallen. Fallen deep in love. Her pain grew. Why? The idiot! She found his kind and gentle demeanor so wonderful. Tonks felt her heart breaking into a million pieces. Did he wish to kill himself after what she had said. Her small declaration of love? Didn't he love her back?

She sat there helplessly as he spoke and promised to leave today. Tears began to fill her brown eyes. Her hair was back to its natural brown. She was clumsier than usual and unsophisticated. What had happened? How had this man change her life? She was a completely different person.

Didn't he listen? The big headed fool! She wanted to cry. Her mouth sat, agape, hurt and betrayed. He knew what she wanted from him! Why didn't he listen! The stupid, bloody, idiotic, bovine... she could have continued her seemingly endless list of insults, but found it pointless as he left the table. There were no missions for the rest of the Order.

She stood as everyone left, but found herself nearly collapsing out of grief and anger. She stomped her way over to him, making sure her steps resonated on the ground. Her fiery hair matching her temper.

"HOW DARE YOU?" she screamed, "DON'T YOU EVER LISTEN?"

Tears came to her eyes. They welled up and began to fall. She could barely see his delicate face, lined with scars and permanent marks of pain. His amber eyes were frightened and ashamed. He should be, she thought.

She continued her tirade, "I TOLD YOU NOT TO DO THIS. WHY? DOES IT PLEASE YOU TO CONSTANTLY PUT YOURSELF IN DANGER. DO YOU WISH FOR DEATH?"
"Tonks... I-" he helplessly stated, tears falling from his eyes, "If I'd known..."
"WHAT DO YOU BLOODY MEAN 'IF YOU KNEW' YOU KNEW ALL THIS TIME." she brought her sleeve to her face, furiously wiping her tears.

Her heart beat fast out of pain and frustration. Her breathing become heavy. The frown and snark on her seemed along permanent in that moment. Her throat was hoarse from yelling.

She stood and cried, her sobs racking her body, causing her to double over. She knelt on the ground, her hair covering her eyes.

"If I told you I loved you..." she nearly screamed as she choked on her sobs, "would it make you want to stay..." Her voice cracked, the floodgates opened, letting out a barrage of tears. Her clutched her shirt even tighter, her sobs filling the quiet room. It was empty except for the two of them.

"Would you stay ... for me?"

~oOo~

Remus looked down on Tonks sobbing on the floor in a mess of tears and cries. A beautiful mess, he thought. He wanted or reach out and comfort her and he almost did, if not for a voice in his head, begging and pleading him to stop.

No. She can't fall in love with you. You can't fall in love with her. You are a danger to society. You could hurt her, the same voice said, scolding him.

Remus' heart was broken into pieces. He yearned to hold her. Hug her. Tell her everything was alright and he wouldn't leave,

Tears began to blur his vision and his breathing was heavy. There was no way to answer her question. He really did love her. But would that make him stay, giving his werewolf form to accidentally kill someone he truly loved.

He watched as Tonks finally found the strength to stand. She stood, glared at him, and began her clumsy walk to the door. Her eyes were pained and hurt. They were still the same brown eyes he'd fallen for.

Remus watched her leave, doing absolutely nothing. Tears continued to fall to the ground, blurring his vision. He wiped his eyes and turned around, to see Molly glaring gently and Arthur Weasley, who had put his hand on his wife's shoulder. Molly seemed to be disappointed and angry while Arthur looked a lot more disappointed and tired than his wife.

"Remus,"Molly began, taking a breath, "Can't you see she loves you?"
"I can't be with her because my ... condition." he said, knowing it wasn't the right thing to say in front of Molly Weasley, "I'm a monster."

The Weasley couple glanced at each other. Remus knew he was about to get a lecture.

"Remus, do you really think Molly would let you into this house if you were truly a monster." Arthur stated.
"Falling in love isn't a little matter. You know you've fallen for her. Why do you refuse to love her back." Molly leaned against her husband, "And you're right about that, Arthur."
"The children love you." Arthur looked at him over the tops of his glasses, "If the twins can respect and appreciate you, you deserve someone that loves you. Not as a parent or a sibling or a teacher, but someone who is willing to build a life with you. And that one person who truly loves you —"
"And is willing to take the risk." Molly interjected.
"Is pushed away ... by you." Arthur finished.

The couple began to leave as Remus stood there, in awe of them.

Molly poked her head bald into the room and looked at him, "Remus, do think on what we've said."

Then she left to clean her home and kitchen. They wouldn't understand how he felt about this. Would they? But they were human. They were wizards. They were purebloods. They had everything they wanted. A family. A happy one, nonetheless. Did Molly and Arthur really understand his situation.

Of course they do, a little part of Remus' heart said, they know how much you love her and how much she loves you. And they're absolutely right. He should try to have a relationship with her. It may or may not succeed. But he should try. At least.