Little Things (Night Changes #2) (UNDER CONSTRUCTION)

Forgive, Forget, Regret

I looked back and forth between the two men in front of me, planning an escape route with every word they shouted in each others face. Marcus stood under Nathan's towering figure with a grimace, fists at his side as he tried to ease his way back into the argument. Nathan had been pacing for over a half hour, but had stopped the minute Marcus made a comment I had forgotten seconds after it'd left his mouth.

Neither of them glanced in my direction; it was as if I were no more than part of the sidewalk beneath me. My left hand cuffed my right wrist, rubbing the bruise that'd been left on my forearm by Chad. It was surprisingly the only mark he'd left, physically at least. Feel trapped under his heavy weight gave me a deeper understanding of the millions of thoughts and emotions floating around inside Misty's head. I knew, without any doubt, no matter how hard I scrubbed my body and tried to redirect my thoughts, the though and feeling of Chad would remain.

As if by some miracle the guys came to their senses, both grew quiet and looked over at me. Nathan red faced and breathing heavily; Marcus with guilt ridden eyes and a weary smile. With my gaze dancing between the two of them, I finally rose to my feet and made a gesture with my hand.

"Are you two done?"

Nathan averted his eyes and Marcus shrugged.

"Sit down. Both of you." I ordered, pointing at the spot on the sidewalk that had been occupied by me a few seconds ago. Nathan opened his mouth to protest before deciding against it and falling down against the hard concrete. Marcus joined, running a hand through his hair with an exhausted sigh.

I directed my attention to Nathan first. "Thank you. I don't know why you were outside the room, but I'm glad you were. I don't know what would have happened if you hadn't been."

When Nathan only nodded slowly, avoiding my eyes, I turned to Marcus.

"I know that I'm a bitch to you, Marcus. I also see how hard you're trying to change and I want you to know I appreciate it." I said. "But you broke me to a point that it's going to take a lot more than apologies and a couple alterations in your attitude for forgiveness. One day I hope to be able to look at you and say that you're a decent guy. That you made mistakes when you were a kid, but made up for them as you got older. Right now, you've got to focus on yourself and not winning back my trust. I want you to understand that there won't ever be a chance of anything more than a friendship between us, a bond shared as we raise our son."

I watched Marcus crumble a little under my intense words, but he nodded and whispered "I understand."

Nathan laughed. "What a great place to let a guy down easy, Banner. Why the hell are you saying this now?"

I whirled on him with a dark look. "You, Nathan, you confuse the hell out of me. One minute you're all high and mighty, acting as if it's a privilege to walk the same sidewalk you do. The next, you act as if you're a decent guy underneath that unbearable rich frat boy facade. Honestly, I don't think you really know which you are. It's like you're fighting an internal battle with yourself and you've reached a stalemate."

Nathan stood. Marcus and I eyed him cautiously as he spat his cruel answer back in my face.

"Say all you want, Banner. I know I'm fucked up and a fuck up. So are you. The difference? There's no chance for me. But you, Paige, God, there's a million chances for you out there. You can leave this shithole, get away from us all with that child and live the life you deserve. You can change. You can better yourself. And I hate that you sit here everyday and put yourself through the same torturous routine. It's like you get off on it, like you want to see how much you can take before you finally reach a breaking point."