[VRISREZI] The Adventures of Vapelife and Ratbaby

whose mans is this???

terezi jumps out of the shopping cart. "WHOSE MANS IS THIS?" she screams. eridan draws his wand and points it at me. 

"BITCH WHAT THE FUCK" I YELL. "I LITERALLY DID NOTHING TO YOU LMAO" i scream at him. he does a thing with his want and shoots it at me. "SHIT!" i barrel roll out of the way. "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING YOU HO" i yelled. "I've come for you, Crisco Service. I'm finally going to get you." he pulls up his britches and starts walking towards us. 

"YOU SMELL LIKE INCEL DISAPPOINTMNT!" terezi screamed at the ugly fish. i walk up to eridan and take the wand out of his hand and give it to terezi and she eats it. 

"wwwwwwwhat the fuck thats revvvvvvverse bullying!" he is crying. i punch him in the face and knock his glasses off his face and step on his chest while terezi kicks his face over and over until he's knocked out. then me and terezi start making out because we won. 

i call the police and tell them that a man tried to shoot us but my girlfriend ate the weapon and they get over there real quick and take him away to jail again!

"we're sorry ladies we dont know he got out. he's supposed to be in prison still! he's got a life sentence for three counts of attempted murder!" 

"it is no trouble officers we were glad to beat this poser up" i said and smiled. he gave me a medal that said "incel destroyer" and everyone clapped. that's what happened i didn't make any of it up ask terezi. 

anyways

after that is when i woke up. 
terezis laying next to me and is trying to arouse me like "BABE! BABE!!!!! YOURE HAVING A BAD DREAM!!!" and i was like "wuh.." and she told me i was like twitching and shit in my sleep? sounds fake but ok. 

"what were you dreaming about?" she asks. 
i sigh "I dreamt that we defeated Eridan. But we still have to deal with that cuck." she pats my back. "it's okay vriska! i know we're gonna bring him to justice!" i slouch over in bed like 'UHGGGH' cause, you know, life.

"IN THE MEAN TIME HOWVER!" terezi runs into the closet and comes back out with a pamphlet. "WE GOT THIS IN THE MAIL!" I TAked it from her. It was two free meals at applebees! Sick! "Well what are we doing here? We gotta get to the Bees!" i said and scrambled out of bed to get dressed.

We wented to the Bees and got sitted down by the man. he handed us some menus. Terezi waited until the men were gone and SLORPED the menu real good and then put it back down with a smile. hot. "i know what i want" she saided. Wow I am so in love with her... while we are waiting for the waiting man to come back i notice that terezi is squarming around quite a lot!

"Babe what's wrong why are you doing that?" I say. "I CAN SMELL THE APPLE" she whisper-screams. but mostly just screams because she is not very good as whispering. "What??" what?? "It smells so delicious vriska i have to have it" 

Now we're on a mission. 

We are going to steal the applebees apple. 

we leave the pamphlet on the desk and walk outside and stare at the apple on the sign. Terezi is drooling. I give her a boost up there and she gets a firm grasp and i HEAVE her away and she tears the apple off as i pull her down. "YES! YES! YES!!!!!!" she is screaming. She starts licking it like crazy. Then the manager runs up.

"YOU GUYS GOTTA FUCKIN GET OUTTA HERE!" she yells at us. "FUCK YOU" i say and i pick up terezi and the apple all together in one move and run us away down the street and since the manager isnt a cop or my dad she can't fucking do anything! Later!!!!

We get all the way back to the apartment and Terezi sits on the couch happily munching away at her Applebees Apple. I am seeing this and thinking wow she is so hotly... Like just saying but now I know I DEFINITELY have allllllll the luck because how ELSE would I score a MAJOR HOTTIE like Pyrope??? Seriously!

Gayness aside, she's almost done with her applebess apple when a phone rings! It is mine one. "helluh?" i say into it. 

"Vriska!" shit it is my sister again "Mom and I would love to have you and your girlfriend accompany us to Disneyland when we go next weekend!" she says. "You'd love it?" j'accuse. "Of course! Last time we were all together was SO delightful, wouldn't you say?" "No????????" she ignores this. "So would you like to come with us?" i can hear her smiling into the phone but it's the fakest bitch smile ever. i sigh BIG

"Terezi do you wanna go to disneyland with my mom and sister and me?" i ask and i am shaking my head which is a moot point because shes blind. "HELL YEAH!!!!" she screams and aranea heard it because she goes "Excellent! Come over on Friday night so we can leave bright and early Saturday morning! Goodbye" and hang s up without anything else. I cannot BELIVING i am agreed to this...