I Do / S.M/ ( sequel to Strings) *On Hold*

Chapter 6 Confessions

Shawn POV

I sit down with the interviewer and watch as the camera crew gets ready and my heart is racing. "We're live." I turn to the camera and smile trying to hide my emotions. "If your just tuning in I'm with none other than Shawn Mendes! How are you doing Shawn?" She asks looking at me enthusiastically." "I'm good, just  traveling a lot and promoting the new album." I nod and make sure I  look relaxed.

"So there has been some questions regarding why you have been going back to Canada so much recently. Would you care to comment?" The interviewer looks at me intently. "My girlfriend Zoë and I..." I take a deep breath and can feel my heart beating faster and feel like I might pass out. I take a drink of water and blink trying to rid myself of my nervousness. " Are you alright?" She asks. " Um, Zoë and I have a daughter." She looks surprised and is quiet for a moment before asking a question. " How old is your daughter?" " Six, I love both of them to death and that's why I've been going home, to see them I just didn't want anyone to know about that cause my family is my personal life. I don't want people trying to find our house or my daughter's school,  I would appreciate people to just respect  our privacy."  

" That news was quite a shock, how do you believe your fans will react?" " I would hope they would understand why I didn't say anything." I  can feel myself trembling and try to look like I'm ok as we cut to a commercial break. " I'm going to take a walk." I nervously walk out the room and lean against the wall. I feel like the walls are caving in and I can hardly breathe.

"You okay?" Will asks. I shake my head. " Can you finish the interview?" " I can't seem to speak as I try to calm my breathing which just makes it worse as  I start to hyperventilate. " Hey just sit down ok?" I  shake my head and lean against the wall  " You let go of your biggest secret, that's good right?" But I can hardly hear him and can only imagine what will happen after this. I don't want to walk back in that room but I know I have to. I close my eyes and try to breathe. " Do you need anything?"  Will asks gently. "  I want Zoë." I sob and hate that I'm crying right now and that I'm having an anxiety attack so far away from home.    I see some of my team walking up the hall. I wipe my tears and attempt to breathe but can't seem to catch my breath. My vision is getting fuzzy and my own panic is not helping with anything. I hear people talking  but it sounds so far away.  

Zoë POV

I'm leaving my class when my phone rings. I don't see who it is and pick up. " Hello?"

 " Zoë."  I'm taken aback to hear how upset he sounds and hold my phone closer to my ear. "What's going on?" " I talked about us in an interview in London and then I went to take a break and I was f- freaking out and I don't know what happened. I just remember waking up in a hospital? I'm ok don't worry. " You had an anxiety attack?" I ask worriedly. "  I'm fine, but I just wanted to tell you that people know  about Skye and I quite frankly felt better when they didn't know."  " Where are you now?" My dressing room, I needed to call you and today has  been awful."  He  says." I'll  fly out to see you." I blurt.  "I'm fine just keep talking it's nice to hear your voice.  I open my car door and get in and shut the door and lock the door  " I just left class and I'm glad you called, I haven't checked my social media yet but I'll hold off I guess. You sure your ok Shawn?" I ask concerned" I'm good." He still sounds upset and I wish I wasn't so far away. "Play a great show tonight, and call me after if you want. I'm going to get Skye from school and then hockey practice."  He laughs a little at this. "Okay, thanks for listening."   We talk for a while longer and until he says he has to go. I hang up and pull up at Skye's school and sit in the car for a moment thinking. 

I'm reading Skye a bedtime story when my phone rings from the other room. " Is it daddy?" She asks her hazel eyes look hopeful. " It might be."  She crawls out from under the blankets and goes into my room and picks up the phone. I set down the book and smile a little. I know the last few months have been hard and I wish he was home more, but I can't crush his dream, he's doing what he loves.  I go into my room where Skye is sitting on his side of the bed happily chatting away. I know it's him by how excited she is. I  get my laptop and do some of my homework. "When will you be home?" She asks. I glance over at her, she nods along before pouting. " I can't wait that long daddy!  I wanted you to  take me to the school dance." Right the dance. The father-daughter dance is a big deal at her school.  She nods a little scooting close to me. " Here mommy," She hands me the phone.  I watch her leave the room and take the phone.  "How are you?"  "Better,  it was nice to talk to Skye, miss that kid so much." He says. "She misses you too." I reply.

"So this dance, when is it?" 

"The dance is  in a few weeks."

"Hmm well I do have a break before I start all the festival shows, tell you what I'll text you when I'm about to fly out and I'll surprise her, sound good?"  I nod. " Yes,  she would love that." I open my document and read over my essay. "What are you up to  darling?" "Just doing homework, I was reading the little one a bedtime story before  you called but this was probably much better." I  edit my essay some more before shutting my laptop and plugging it in. " I miss you too, sounds like school for you is going well?" I  shut my eyes enjoying the sound of his voice. "School is great, going to kids hockey games is fun, the only thing missing is you." My voice cracks a little at the last part of the sentence  I press my lips together. " I'm sorry Zoë." He says softly. " I should get to bed, but I love you, Shawn." I clear my throat so I don't sound as sad. "I love you too Zoë" I smile a little and make a kissing sound before hanging up.