Finding Lily

46- Lily

When I awoke the next morning, my head was pounding. Someone had left advil next to my bed so I blindly reached for it, knocking my phone to the ground in the process. I sloppily put the little pill in my mouth after taking a sip of water that was also conveniently placed.

"Whichever one of us put this out last night was a fucking genius." Jane grumbled from her bed after she had popped a pill of her own.

"Wasn't me." At least I didn't think so. I sat up and stretched my hands over my head. My watch read ten a.m., six hours after we'd finally shut the lights off. When we got talking, it just never stopped.

Jane sat up and chugged the rest of her water. I glanced at her, remembering all of the laughs and tears we shared throughout our conversation last night. Most of it was about Luke, and Regina, and Dan. I didn't mind; they were easy topics.

There was a nagging feeling in my chest though reminding me of how much I didn't feel comfortable to share. She didn't know I'd turned into a murderer that pointed a gun at her own father. She didn't know I was beat half to death and kept locked in a cage. She heard the nice version of what happened. The one without suffering.

Judging by how few details I got of her year and the obvious pain locked in her eyes, I'd say I got a similar version of her story. In a way, it felt like we were strangers again.

"You still going to Luke's today?" Jane eyed me with a mischievous grin.

"I'm not sure."

"Come on." Jane whined. "I thought we went over this."

"We did but-"

"No buts. Luke makes you happy and you deserve to be happy. There's nothing else to consider." Jane stated.

I stopped myself from uttering the usual protests. Most of them were meaningless. There was nothing standing in the way of us being together except for me and my fear of opening up to someone. I had lost too many people. I didn't want it to happen again.

"Luke's not gonna leave you. I heard him at the airport. He sounds like an amazing guy." Jane pressed on.

"I know."

"So be a big girl and let someone in. You did it with me. And like it or not, you already did it with him."

I flashed back to the island, remembering all we had shared. He saw what I did to Felix. He watched me kill several men and was there for me when my own father got murdered. He protected me, putting my life before his whenever he got the chance. He knew me, all of me, and somehow, I knew he would never leave.

"I gotta go to dad's office, ok? I'll come home after." I told her.

Jane let out a dramatic sigh before burying herself back under her green comforter. I rolled my eyes and changed into jeans and a black jacket, drinking the rest of my water before calling a taxi to pick me up.

The office was bustling when I walked in. Daniel's coworkers were shooting me sad looks, as if they knew what had happened. I couldn't face them yet. I even brushed off Mohammad when he tried to confront me, sidestepping past him and ending up in Daniel's office.

I sat in the chair across from his empty one. For some reason, visiting places I had been with him was giving me some semblance of closure. I looked around the office, noting the files he had stacked up on the desk and the picture of me he still had next to his monitor. Then I noticed the envelope sitting on the keyboard with my name scribbled on the front.

Picking it up, I peered inside and saw a thin plastic card. It was my old licence, the one I gave up when I changed, the one that said Lily Artino. I smiled at the ridiculous-looking blonde hair and face full of makeup. I looked pretty, sure, but that wasn't me.