Finding Lily

33- Alex

Warning: sexual content

The thought of having a partner never appealed to me. At least not when I first struck out on my mission for revenge. Even now, the idea of it was weird.

As I looked at Luke sitting next to me on the airplane, his broad shoulders brushing against mine, I was anxious. Tense. Aware of every little move he made, every time his skin brushed against mine. The idea that I had made a mistake ran through my brain at least once every hour. Maybe we trusted each other and made a good team, but underneath it all, there was tension. Sexual tension. Even I couldn't deny that.

It distracted me. Ever since I decided to kiss him, it had been clouding my judgment. I needed to bury it.

When we landed in Miami, we disembarked with only the backpack in hand. It was only 8 o'clock, giving us more than four hours to kill.

"We should get a hotel room to rest." Luke suggested. "Maybe order a big meal, too."

My face flushed. The sounded like a terrible idea. Still, I went along with it. "Ok."

Luke and I walked around for a bit before stumbling on a small motel. It was the kind that men brought prostitutes to and spouses their extramarital partners. The kind that would take cash and not ask for ID or a credit card.

"One room please." Luke told the man at the front desk.

"With two beds." I added.

The man gave me a strange look, glancing between us with his eyebrows raised.

"We'll only need it for four hours. Whatever you have available will be fine." Luke told him, flashing a charming smile at the receptionist who barely had any teeth of his own.

I scowled at him but kept my mouth shut. Luke exchanged cash for a set of keys, and I followed him to a room on the first floor. It had that typical hotel decor. A desk with a chair, a tv, a mini fridge, bad art on the walls, and a bed. One bed. One queen-sized mattress with a faded quilt thrown on top, home to God knows how many sexual encounters.

"I'm gonna shower. Wanna join?" Luke asked me.

"What?" I must have hallucinated it. My mind was playing tricks on me. Luke wouldn't have said something like that.

His grin said otherwise. He did say that. Fuck. "Kidding."

My eyes were glued to his back as he walked past me. I didn't blink until he disappeared into the bathroom. The sound of the shower took my mind to the exact place I wanted it not to be. Imagining what it would be like. To shower. With him.

I cursed myself. For some reason, being in a hotel room was causing all of my pent up sexual frustration to come to a head. It had been a while since I was intimate with someone. Like, since the night of the attack over a year ago. The kiss we shared still came up in my dreams, reminding me that I used to enjoy stuff like that. That I used to be a sexual creature.

I knew I couldn't be with Luke. Sex with him would mean too much. We were partners. Friends, even. Anything more would just lead to complications.

So when he came out of the bathroom, wet, with just a towel below his waist, I scurried past him and took a shower of my own.

As the hot drops of water washed down my body, I centered my mind. I was Alex. Badass assassin who didn't take shit from anyone. Who could slit someone's throat before they even knew she was there. Who could hold her own in a fight against all enemies. Alex didn't have feelings. She didn't have desires. She had a mission. That was all.