Thoughts

We were something

Once upon a time, we were a force to be reckoned with.

We were those girls.

The girls that everybody saw.

Everybody listened to.

Everybody envied.

We were the rulers and all that surrounded us was our kingdom. Of course, it was a dangerous game to play. One wrong move and everything would be swept away from you. We had to be perfect at all times. From all angles. Or we would be shunned.

Surprisingly, I excelled at the game. I knew the right things to say, and when to keep my mouth shut. I knew where to be. What to do. How to look.

And you know what, it was an escape. I knew that back in the real world no one would ever listen to me. I knew that the real world would never let me rule over it. But if I could rule over something, even if it was temporary, it made me feel different. Powerful. Rulers aren't weak, they can't be. It must mean, that somehow, I wasn't weak.

I have to admit it felt nice. More than nice, it was pure ecstasy. It was my favorite place. It was the farthest from my real self I've ever gotten, but at least I was important.

One thing I know is that I completely blinded myself to how damaging it was. I thought it was perfect. It wasn't.

Because we fell.

And it wasn't pretty.

Our wings crumbled to rotten strips of bone and flesh. Our faces sunk. We retreated back into ourselves. Away from each other we were nothing. Absolutely worthless.

We all had our own lives, and we went off to live them.

Except me.

I was left behind.

I know it was never meant to last, but I've never been good at letting go of the past.