Broken Love [COMPLETED BUT EDITING]

Chapter 37: Finale

Today was our last day together. James and Meera. To say that means accepting it. Which means I'm healing. 

With him leaving, I felt like there was this aching hole in my heart. And everyone seemed to notice. Even Shane asked me what was wrong. I started telling him and he asked questions but then he said, "I feel like you're going to start crying. And I can't deal with crying."

I laughed and said, "Don't worry. I won't cry." Silently I added, I just cried in the bathroom. 

 At lunch when James and Will walked to our table outside, I felt my heart stop. Soon, it'd be just Will. I couldn't take it. I got up from our table and ran off. Stupid Shawn Mendes and his stupid relevant songs. Above Never Be Alone. 

Sarah ran after me but I told her to go back. She couldn't heal this. Not this time. 

I sat by the same big windows where James had asked me out. I couldn't stop crying. I put the song on repeat because it touched my soul and nothing else seemed to fit. My glasses sat abandoned next to me. I just shook with sobs. My phone vibrated.

J- where r u

M- where u asked me out. Y

J- y r u alone

I had started typing when James appeared next to me. "Are you ok?"

I turned away and wiped away my tears. "I told you I don't want you to see me cry, James!"

"Are you ok? Do you want me to leave?"

"I don't know." Inside I screamed for him to pull me close to him. For him to hold onto me. I wanted him to put all my broken pieces back together like he'd done before. But no, he had to be considerate. He didn't want to push. Stupid kind, considerate James. I hated that I loved him for that.

We walked back to our table together. I explained to him, "I don't want to let go of you."

"We can't be together if there's someone else."

"there isn't. I just wanted an easy way out."

"Oh."

"I'm sorry for making you think that."

I glanced over at James, and I realized that the hole had disappeared. When he was next to me, I felt better. I told him, "I'd rather text you every once in a while. I'd rather take my rare moments with you than none at all. I'd rather miss you than forget. but I'll leave the decision up to you."

"But I can't."

"You decide what we should do."

And with that we walked hand in hand back to class. he filled a hole in my soul that I didn't even know was there. Even though we couldn't go on our walk, where I was supposed to kiss him senseless, I wasn't overly depressed as I had been in past days. I had a purpose. I wasn't lost.

I knew that I didn't want to lose him. And to keep him, I needed my parents to trust me. I needed to show them excellent grades. I needed to study more. I needed to be less sneaky. I would find a way. I'm not losing one of the most amazing people I have ever met. I'm not losing my best friend, my boyfriend, my love. I wouldn't lose James. Not yet. Not until I knew I had made an effort that didn't work.

James Luis Marquiz, we have some more time together. Just you wait! I gave you a piece of my heart and I might need it back someday. But I hope I took a piece of yours, so I won't be alone.