Defeated

~Chapter 9~

So today I'm going to church (as I do every Sunday) but I'm feeling so tired.

So I take a nice, warm shower. It's so relaxing as it hits my muscles where I need it to.

Anyways. I get ready, but my afro doesn't really wanna co-operate today. I'm actually really frustrated.

So my sister walks into the bathroom to see me shouting at my hair like, "Can we just respect each other?! I don't have time for this!"

Katelyn says with suspicion clear in her voice, "Hey sissy...you feeling okay?"

"Kay, I'm just feeling a little frustrated with this afro."

She laughs, "I get what you mean. It gets so stressful. I didn't even bother with mine today."

I look at hers, she just tied some bandana around it.

I laugh and calm down a bit. I don't know why I'm so on edge today.

Michaela left her afro in twists.

Yeah we are all natural in this household. It's actually strange. Katelyn started being natural first and then Michaela and then me.

Anyways, after eating and all that, we head out. We have to take the train to go to church because dad isn't here.
He came to visit that one time, but I'm not sure when he is coming again.

So we take the train and we arrive there way too early. So we decide to go to the coffee shop nearby.
I order a latte and they order cappuccinos.

We laugh and joke about how this church we go to is really not our type of church.
Like, it has no energy, no vibe. It is literally full of people older than 60, only. We are the only young ones.

It's so dry. There's no dressing up. The pastor comes to preach in flip flops and shorts and a t-shirt. It's too relaxed.
The services feel like a school lesson rather than church.

But my dad wants us to go to this church. I don't know why. So we just do it.

.....

After church, we go buy a few groceries and then take a taxi back home.
When I get home, I check my messages.

My friend, Daniel from school texted me. He used to like me when I got here, but he got over that and we have become really great friends. He has this really beautiful girlfriend, Paula. She has an afro too.

Daniel: Hey Savannah

Savannah: Hey you. What's up?

Daniel: Uhm I heard some rumours about Alex, I just thought you should know.

Oh gosh, what is it now. There is always a rumour about him. Why today? The day after the sleep over? Really?

Savannah: Oh..what is it?

Daniel: Look, this guy uses girls Savannah. He uses them and then when he's finished, he throws them away.

Savannah: How am i supposed to know if that's true or not Daniel? I mean it is a rumour.

Daniel: Look, you already know that i dont like this guy. He has a history Savannah. It wouldn't be a surprise if it were true.

Savannah: Okay, I'll talk to him. Thanks for telling me ♡

This is just great. I don't have time for this SHIT. I'm so tired.

I mean, it could be true. No one ever has something good to say about Alex. But I don't understand how he would be using me. What is he getting? Sex? No he isn't. And he isn't going to.

He seems legit though. I just don't know. Now I'm getting paranoid.

I decide to text him.

Nana: Hey, can I talk to you about something?

Buba: Surely, is it serious?

Nana: I don't know. It depends on how the conversation goes, cause it could just be nothing.

Buba: I understand. What's wrong nana?

Nana: I'm hearing that you apparently use girls..

Buba: May I ask from who?

Nana: Are you gonna do something stupid?

Buba: No not at all I just wanna triangulate where this is coming from because it's not the first time I'm hearing this about me...

Nana: So it isn't true? Don't take it the wrong way, but I really need to know...even if you just did it in the past..

Buba: Hey!!!! Why the hell would I fucking do that typa shit man!! The fuck do you think I am?

Whoa..

Nana: No just relax...I'm not saying that that's what I think of you. But i just really needed to know. I just don't need that nonsense right now. I seriously didn't mean that in a bad way...can you blame me for asking?

Buba: Who told you that?

Nana: The thing is...it's not this person who started the rumour...he just heard it from people and told me...so it's not his fault.. but Daniel told me.

Buba: Well listen here Savannah...I don't know Daniel all that well along with all those students from your school excluding a hand full...you gonna believe people I don't even fucking chill with..just people that know my name that I haven't spent a lousy hour with...because those are the typa people that spread nonsense like this....tell Daniel I said to please not involve me man ..in fact give me his number I just wanna talk to the guy.

This really escalated... wow

Nana: I don't know if that's a good idea..

Buba: Just send it

Nana: No...like you're making it a big deal, if the rumours aren't true then you shouldn't get so defensive.

I get like three messages from him

Buba: I'm not defensive!!
Buba: I just wanna talk.
Buba: you know what? Just leave it!

Nana: Why are you shouting and getting so upset now? I just wanted to tell you what was bothering me.

Buba: Are you sending the number or not?

Nana: Can we first just talk about this Alex? And without you getting pissed at me

Buba: No we can't. Give me the number

I don't have time for this. I ask Daniel if it's okay for me to send his phone number or not. And he says it's okay and so I send it.

Nana: There. You happy now?

Buba: thanks

Nana: can we talk now?

Buba: rather in person.

Nana: Are you serious right now?

Buba: I need time to think Savannah. Not in a bad way.

And just like that, he goes off. And i guess we won't be talking.

I don't understand why he tripped so much if the rumour wasn't true. And why are we talking about it in person? Why is it such a big deal?

What the fuck does he need time to think about? I am the one who heard this rumour and he needs to think?

This is bullshit. He is most probably lying to me, that's why he is getting all defensive. Surprise, surprise!!!! Savannah is getting played AGAIN.

You know, I wanted to trust him. Whatever.