Defeated

~Chapter 1~

I feel like I am going to go crazy. I haven't seen him in months. I haven't heard from him in months. I know I am being pathetic, but let me explain.

My name is Savannah. I am just a typical teenage girl who is a huge fan of anything that has to do with love. I will be seventeen in about four months.

Last year was a tough year for me. There were a lot of things that were happening that stressed the hell out of me and messed me up emotionally.

I had just been through a breakup with this guy, Daniel. We were completely wrong for each other. We rushed into things and that is why we had fallen apart. So I needed some air and decided to take a walk. As I was walking, I saw a guy walking towards me. He was tall, light-skinned, muscular and very attractive. Gosh. Such a beautiful man. What a face! Okay anyways, I could tell that he was older. That has never been my thing really - messing around with older men. Finally, he got to me and smiled a sweet smile that made me shiver. His dimples popped right out. I had always been a fan of dimples. What am I saying?? I am STILL a fan! That's not the point.

He said, "Hey. My name is Jay. I have never seen you around here before. What is your name?"
I hesitated to answer, but his eyes melted my soul. They glistened like the sun on the morning sea. I was just mesmerised. Immediately, I was under his spell.
I answered shyly, "My name is Savannah and maybe you just weren't paying attention before. I have always been here."
What a stupid thing to say.
"Oh is it? Well now my eyes are wide open. You have got my full attention. I am curious to know where you are off to. I could give you a ride. My car is right over there."
He pointed to a white BMW something-something. I am not good at knowing cars. I just know what I have to know.

I had never been the type to trust strangers enough to get into the same car as them, especially older guys. I thought about it for a while, but eventually agreed.
I know. I was dumb! Don't judge me!

We drove to the mall and sat in his car in the parking lot. We drank so much that I could even be telling this story wrong.

He looked into my eyes. He touched my face with both hands and said, "You are so beautiful." I knew right then and there that it was going to go down.

He gently caressed my skin, sending shivers up and down my spine. He leaned in slowly, I leaned in as well. His lips softly brushed against mine. I then began to feel him gently pull my bottom lip, sucking it in between his lips, biting it, not too hard, just right. I could taste the sweet red wine from his mouth. My mind was spinning all over the place, not just because I was drunk, but because of what he was doing to my body and the fact that I was allowing it. It went against everything I stood for. My mind quickly forgot about it all when I felt him grab my thigh and kiss my neck. His lips met almost everything on my body.

We giggled after some time and he took me home. Before I got out of the car, he pulled my hand. "You are not going anywhere before you give me your number." I laughed and gave it to him. He kissed my forehead, opened the door for me and watched me as I stumbled away.

I couldn't stop thinking about him all night. That was exactly what I needed - a distraction which, bonus, was fun too. I needed a distraction from the pain that I was suffering. It was wrong, but it made me feel so damn good.

Like honestly, if you could read my mind, you would be in tears. My life had been terrible. So I needed to do anything to just help ease my pain. I know that was the wrong direction to take, but oh well.

I woke up to the sound of my phone ringing non-stop. I looked at the called ID, astonished because it was an unknown number. I answered.
"Hello?"
"Good morning Savannah. Did you forget about me already? Clearly I didn't leave too much of an impact on you. I would like to change that, possibly today, at my place. I will come and get you."
I laughed, "Is this seriously how you are going to invite me to your place? I expected much better."
He giggled, " I am doing this for you. I am doing this out of the kindness of my heart. I know you would like to come to my place, but you are too stubborn to ask."
"Oh is it? So now you already have me all figured out after just one day with me? I don't need you, you cocky son of a bitch, but I will take you on your offer. Because I want to."
He laughed, "That's my girl. I will pick you up at noon."

Aggh! He was annoying. He was so cocky. But I liked the way he made me feel. The burning passion I had when I was with him was enough to make me happy - just for a few hours.

We had been doing that for a few months. It meant absolutely nothing to me. Honestly, it was just fun. He felt the same way too, I thought. After some time, he told me that he loved me. I was so surprised and a bit confused. So I began to change my mindset completely. I began to tell myself that it was not just fun, it was a real, committed relationship.

I was addicted to that man. He envaded my mind at all hours of the day. I could not let him go. I loved him - I thought. It reached a point where I could not go a day without seeing him, or talking to him in some way. My obsession became so unheathy. It consumed me. This is why it hurt me so much when I realised that he was backing away from me slowly.

He has suddenly stopped calling me as much and when I was with him, he paid no attention to me.

One day, I was with him and his phone rang. I could hear that he was talking to a girl on the phone. They were giggling and joking around. Then in the end, he told her he loved her and hung up. I looked at him, lump in my throat, and he said, "It was just a silly person."

"Oh is it? I would never tell a 'silly person' I loved them in front of the person I supposedly loved. I would never blush and giggle so much like a little bitch!"

"Fine. That was my girlfriend I never told you about her because I knew you wouldn't have gone for me. I just couldn't resist you. I love you, but I love her too."

I was just so pissed off!! Why in the world would he convince me that he was the guy for me when we could have just stuck to messing around? I was perfectly fine with us being nothing, but noo, he had to convince me to fall in love with him! My heart fell into a million pieces.

I got out of the car, crying, and went back home.

He never spoke to me ever again. He changed numbers. I couldn't believe that was happening. He was the one that played with my feelings and yet HE was the one who stopped talking to me? Wow.

I was depressed for months. I kept thinking that he was going to come back to me. That maybe he would remember what we had.

How did he turn so cruel in just a blink of an eye?

A few days ago, I decided to go to where I remembered he lived, to go look for him because I missed him. It was pathetic, I know. But I felt like I was losing my mind. I could not take it anymore.

As I was walking, I looked across the road, stunned completely. The guy I saw was a gorgeous creation. He could not stop looking at me. I was blushing so much. I could feel the redness somehow appear in my brown-coloured cheeks! How even!?
I quickly regained focus on what I was there to do. Find Jay.

I continued walking and then the guy crossed the road over to my side! I was freaking out!

I could not feel my own flippen body.

As he walked closer and closer, I noticed how tall he was. I guess everyone seems tall to me because of how short I am.
His hazel-brown eyes were unbelievable. And of course, he just had to have dimples! That was my death.

I wondered how the conversation was going to go on between and us and what would happen after that.

Honestly, I was just hoping I was not going to ruin it with my stupid mouth that cannot function properly around beautiful specimens.

But little did I know, that one conversation was going to change my life completely.